431. Arrival at
Nazareth.
9th May
1946.
Coming
from the Sephoris countryside one enters Nazareth on the north‑eastern side,
that is, on the highest and rockiest side. The entire amphitheatre, on the
terraces of which Nazareth is spread, appears when one reaches the top of the
hill, which is the last one coming from Sephoris and which slopes down rather
steeply through ravines towards the town. If I remember correctly, because a
long time has passed and many mountain places are alike, the spot where Jesus
is, is the precise one where His fellow-citizens tried to stone Him, but He
stopped them with His power, walking through them.
Jesus
stops to look at His dear yet hostile town, and a smile of happiness brightens
His face. What a blessing, ignored and undeserved by the Nazarenes, is His
divine smile, which certainly pours and spreads graces on the land which
received Him when He was a child, saw Him grow up and where His Mother was born
and She became the Spouse of God and the Mother of God! Also the two cousins
look at their town with evident joy, but Thaddeus' happiness is tempered by
austere reserved gravity, whereas James' is more open and kind, more like
Jesus'.
Although
it is not his town, Thomas' face shines brightly with joy, and pointing at
Mary's little house, from the stone oven of which rings of smoke are rising, he
says: «The Mother is at home and She is baking bread...» and he utters these simple words with
such fervent love, that he seems to be speaking of his mother with all the
affection of a son.
The
Zealot, more calm because of his age and upbringing, smiles saying: «Yes, and
Her peace is already arriving in our hearts.»
«Let
us go down quickly » says James. «We will go down this path and it is unlikely
that any of the Nazarenes will see us arrive. They would delay
us...»
«But
you will be going away from your home... Your mother also is anxious to see
you.»
«Oh!
You may be sure, Simon, that our mother is with Mary. She is almost always
there... And she will be there because they are baking and because of the sick
girl.»
«Yes,
let us go this way. We will pass at the rear of Alphaeus' kitchen garden and we
will arrive at the hedge of ours » says Jesus.
They
go down quickly along a path which at first is very steep, then it becomes more
gentle near the town. They go through olive-groves and small fields bare of
crops. They pass near the first kitchen gardens in town. And the tall leafy
hedges around the gardens and over which hang branches of trees laden with
fruit, or the little dry‑stone walls all covered with branches hanging outside
from orchards, prevent their passing from being noticed by housewives moving
about the gardens, or doing the washing or spreading it on the patches of grass
near the houses...
The
hedge bordering one side of Mary's kitchen garden, which is a tangle of thorns
in winter, then thick with leaves in summer, after the hawthorn blooms in spring
or the little fruits become ruby‑colour in autumn, is now adorned with a
luxuriant jasmine and with the undulating calyces of a flower, the name of which
I do not know, and which from the inside of the garden throw their branches onto
the hedge making it thicker and more beautiful. A blackcap is singing in the
thick of the hedge and the cooing of doves is heard from inside the
garden.
«The
fence also is protected and entirely covered with branches in bloom » says James
who has run ahead to look at the rustic gate at the rear of the garden, the one
which, after not being used for years, was opened to let Peter's cart go in and
out for John and Syntyche.
«We
will go along the lane and will knock at the door. My Mother would suffer seeing
this protection destroyed » replies Jesus.
«Her
enclosed garden! » exclaims Judas of Alphaeus.
«Yes.
And She is its rose » says Thomas.
«As
a lily among the thistles » says James.
«The
sealed fountain » says the Zealot.
«Better:
the well of living water which gushing impetuously from the beautiful mountain
gives the Water of Life to the Earth and spurts towards Heaven with its scented
beauty » says Jesus.
«She
will soon be delighted to see You » says James.
«Tell
me, Brother, something which I have been longing to know for some time. How do
You see Mary? As a Mother or as a subject? She is Your Mother, but She is a
woman and You are God...» asks Thaddeus.
«As
sister and as bride, as delight and rest of God and as comfort of Man. I see
everything and I have everything in Mary, as God and as Man. She Who was the
Delight of the Second Person of the Trinity in Heaven, Delight of the Word as
well as of the Father and of the Spirit, is the Delight of the God Incarnate,
and She will be the Delight of the Man God Glorified.»
«What
a mystery! So God has deprived Himself twice of His delights? In You and in Mary
and He gave You to the Earth...» meditates the Zealot.
«What
love! You ought to say. Love induced the Trinity to give Mary and Jesus to the
Earth » says James.
«And,
not with regard to You, Who are God, but with regard to His Rose, was He not
afraid to entrust Her to men, who are all unworthy of protecting Her? » asks
Thomas.
«Thomas,
the Song of Songs replies to you: "The Peaceful One had a vineyard and he
entrusted it to vine‑dressers who, being profaners instigated by the Desecrator,
would have paid large amounts to have it, that is, all allurements to seduce it,
but the beautiful Vineyard of the Lord looked after itself by itself, and would
not give its fruits to anybody but to the Lord and it unbosomed itself to Him
generating the priceless Treasure: the Saviour".»
They
have now arrived at the door of the house, While Jesus knocks, Judas of Alphaeus
comments: «It would be the case to say: "Open, my sister, my spouse, my beloved
immaculate dove"...»
But
when the door opens, and the sweet face of the Virgin appears, Jesus utters the
sweetest word, stretching out His arms to receive Her: «Mother!
»
«Oh!
Son! Blessed! Come in and may peace and love be with You »
«And
with My Mother and the house and those in it » says Jesus entering, followed by
the others.
«Your
mother is in there, and the two women disciples are busy baking and doing the
washing...» explains Mary after exchanging greetings with the apostles and Her
nephews, who discreetly withdraw leaving Mother and Son
alone.
«Here I am with You, Mother. We will be together for some time... How sweet it is to come back... the house and You above all, Mother, after so much travelling amongst men...»
«And
men become more and more acquainted with You and through such knowledge of You
they become divided into two groups: those who love You... and those who hate
You... And the latter group is the bigger...»
«Evil
perceives that it is about to be defeated and it is furious... and makes people
furious... How is the girl? »
«A
little better... But she was on the point of death... And her words, now that
she is not delirious correspond, although they are more reserved, to those which
she spoke while raving. It would be a lie to say that we have not reconstructed
her history... Poor girl!...»
«Yes,
but Providence watched over her.»
«And
now?...»
«Now
I do not know. Aurea does not belong to Me as a creature. Her soul is Mine, her
body belongs to Valeria. For the time being, she will stay here, to
forget...»
«Myrtha
would like to have her.»
«I
know... But I am not entitled to do anything without permission of the Roman
lady. I do not even know whether they purchased her with money or simply used
the weapon of promises ... When the Roman lady will claim
her...»
«I
will go in Your place, Son. It is not right that You should go... Let Your
Mother see to it... We women... the least beings for Israel, are not noticed so
much if we go and speak to Gentiles. And Your Mother is so unknown to the world!
No one will notice the Jewess of the common people going through the streets in
Tiberias, enveloped in her mantle, and knocking at the door of a Roman
lady...»
«You
could go to Johanna's... and speak to the lady there...»
«I
will do that, Son. May Your heart be relieved, Jesus!... You are so
distressed... I understand... and I would like to do so much for
You...»
«And
You do so much, Mother. Thank You for everything You
do...»
«Oh!
I am a very poor help, Son! Because I am not successful in making You loved, in
giving You... joy... as long as You are allowed to enjoy some... So what am I? A
poor disciple, indeed...»
«Mother!
Mother! Do not say that! My strength comes to Me through Your prayers. My mind
rests thinking of You, and, see, My heart finds comfort thus, with My head
against Your blessed heart... Mother of Mine!...» Jesus has drawn His Mother to
Himself, as She was standing in front of Him, while He was sitting on the chest
against the wall, and He leans His forehead on the breast of Mary, Who gently
caresses His hair... A pause of love.
Jesus then raises His head, stands up and says: «Let us go to the others and to the girl » and He goes out with His Mother into the kitchen garden.
The
three women disciples, standing at the door of the room where the sick girl is,
are talking to the apostles. But when they see Jesus, they become quiet and
kneel down.
«Peace
to you, Mary of Alphaeus, and to you, Myrtha and Naomi. Is the girl sleeping?
»
«Yes,
she is. She is still feverish and her temperature stupefies and consumes her. If
it persists like this, she will die. Her frail body will not resist the disease
and her mind is upset by remembrances » says Mary of
Alphaeus.
«Yes...
and she does not react because she says that she wants to die, so that she may
not see any more Romans...» confirms Myrtha.
«And
that grieves us because we are already fond of her...» says
Naomi.
«Be
not afraid! » replies Jesus going as far as the threshold of the little room and
lifting the curtain...
On
the little bed against the wall, facing the door, appears the little thin face
of the girl, bright red at the cheek‑bones, while all the rest is snow‑white,
buried in the mass of her long golden hair. She is sleeping restlessly,
muttering incomprehensible words through her teeth and with her hand abandoned
on the blankets she now and then makes a gesture as if she were rejecting
something.
Jesus
does not enter. He looks at her with pitiful eyes. He then calls her in a loud
voice: «Aurea! Come! Your Saviour is here.»
All
of a sudden the girl sits up in her bed, she sees Jesus and with a cry she gets
up and runs barefooted in her long loose tunic towards Him, and kneels at His
feet saying: «Lord! Now You have really freed me! »
«She
is cured. See? She could not die because she must become acquainted with the
Truth first.» And to the girl who is kissing His feet He says: «Rise and live in
peace » and He lays His hand on the no longer feverish
head.
Aurea,
in her long linen dress, perhaps one of the Virgin's, so long as to form a
train, her loose hair falling over her slender figure like a mantle, her
grey‑blue eyes still bright because of the temperature which has just dropped
and of the joy which has just filled her, looks like an
angel.
«Goodbye!
We are withdrawing into the workshop while you look after the girl and the
house...» says the Master and followed by His four apostles he goes into
Joseph's old workshop and they sit on the benches no longer
used...
432. Parable of Painted
Wood.
10th May
1946.
The
rustic workshop fireplace has been lit after not being used for such a long
time, and the smell of glue boiling in a can mingles with the characteristic
smell of sawdust and fresh shavings, which are just piling up at the foot of a
bench.
Jesus
is working with zest to transform some timber, with the help of saw and plane,
into legs for chairs, drawers and so forth. Some pieces of furniture, the modest
furniture of the little house in Nazareth, have been taken into the workshop to
be repaired: the kneading trough, one of Mary's looms, two stools, a garden
ladder, a little chest and the door of the stone oven, the lower part of which I
think has been perhaps gnawed away by mice. Jesus is working to repair what
usage and old age have consumed.
Thomas,
instead, with a complete outfit of a goldsmith's tiny tools, which he must have
taken out of his sack lying on his little bed placed against the wall like the
Zealot's, is working with a light hand at some thin silver plates. And the
tapping of his little hammer on the burin, giving a silvery sound, mingles with
the loud noise of the working tools used by Jesus.
Now
and again they exchange a few words, and Thomas is so happy to be there with the
Master and at his work of goldsmith - and in fact he says so ‑ that in the
intervals of conversation he whistles softly. Now and again he raises his eyes
and thinks, and absorbed in thought he stares at the smoky wall of the large
room.
Jesus
notices that and asks: «Are you drawing your inspiration from that black wall,
Tom? It is true that it was the long work of a just man that made it so, but I
do not think that it can inspire a goldsmith...»
«No,
Master, a goldsmith in fact cannot reproduce with rich metals the poetry of holy
poverty... But with his metal he can imitate the beautiful things in nature and
thus ennoble gold and silver reproducing with them the flowers and leaves which
are in creation. I think of those flowers and leaves, and to remember their
details precisely I become fixed thus, with my eyes on the wall, but in actual
fact I see the woods and meadows of our Fatherland, the light leaves, the
flowers resembling chalices or stars, the bearing of stalks and leafy
branches...»
«You
are a poet, then, a poet singing in metal what another person sings with ink on
parchment.»
«Yes.
A goldsmith in fact is a poet who writes on metal the beautiful things of
nature. But our work, artistic and beautiful, is not worth Yours, which is
humble and holy, because ours serves the vanity of rich people, whereas Yours
serves the sanctity of the house and the usefulness of the
poor.»
«What you say is right, Thomas » says the Zealot, who has appeared at the door opening on to the kitchen garden, with his tunic tucked up, his sleeves rolled up, with an old apron in front of him and a tin of paint in his hand.
Jesus
and Thomas turn round looking at him and they smile. And Thomas replies: «Yes,
what I say is right. But I want that once in a while the work of a goldsmith may
serve to adorn a... good holy thing...»
«What?
»
«It's
a secret of mine. I have had this idea for a long time, and since we were at
Ramah I have been carrying a goldsmith's little outfit, waiting for this
moment... And what about your work, Simon? »
«Oh!
I am not a perfect craftsman like you, Tom. It is the first time that I have
held a brush in my hand and what I paint is uneven, notwithstanding all my good
will. That is why I began from the... most simple things... to acquire skill...
and I can assure you that my inexperience made the girl laugh heartily. But I am
glad! She is reviving hourly to a serene life, and that is what is required to
cancel her past and renew her for You, Master.»
«H'm!
perhaps Valeria will not give her up...» says Thomas.
«Oh!
what do you think it matters to Valeria to have her or not? If she had kept her,
it would have been only to prevent her from being left forlorn in the world. It
would certainly be a good thing if the girl were safe for ever and in
everything, above all in her spirit. Is that right, Master?
»
«That
is true. We must pray hard for that. The girl is really simple and good, and if
she were brought up in the Truth, she could yield much. She is instinctively
inclined to the Light.»
«I
quite believe it! She has no consolation on the Earth... and she seeks it in
Heaven, poor soul! I think that when Your Gospel is announced all over the
world, the first and the most numerous to receive it will be the slaves, those
who have no human comfort and who will take shelter in Your promises to have
some... And I say that if the honour of preaching You falls to me, I will love
those poor wretches with a special love…»
«And
you will do the right thing, Tom » says Jesus.
«Yes.
But how will you approach them? »
«Oh!
I will be a goldsmith for the ladies and... a master of their slaves. A
goldsmith calls at houses or the servants of rich people come to his... and I
will work... Two metals: those of the Earth for the rich... those of the spirit
for slaves.»
«May
God bless you for your good intentions, Tom. Persevere in
them…»
«Yes,
Master, I will.»
«Well,
now that You have replied to Thomas, please come with me, Master... to see my
work and to tell me what I must paint now. Simple things again, because I am a
very incapable apprentice.»
«Let
us go, Simon...» and Jesus lays down His tools and goes out with the
Zealot...
They come back after some time and Jesus points at the garden ladder. «Paint that. Paint makes wood impenetrable and preserves it longer, in addition to making it more beautiful. It is like the defence and ornament of virtues on a human heart. It may be rough, coarse... But as soon as virtues clothe it, it becomes beautiful and pleasant. See, to have a beautiful paint which serves its purpose, one must take care of many things. First of all: you have to choose carefully what is necessary to make it. That is, a clean can free from mould and residues of old paints, good oils and good colours, and then you have to mix them patiently, working on them to make a liquid which is neither too thick nor too thin. And you must not tire working until the least clot is dissolved. When that is done, you have to take a brush the bristles of which do not come off, and they must be neither too hard nor too soft; the brush is to be cleaned of any previous paint, and before applying the paint, you have to remove from the wood all roughness, the peelings of old paints, dirt, everything, and then neatly, with a steady hand and much patience, you spread the paint, working in the same direction all the time. Because on the same board you meet different resistances. On knots, for instance, the paints remains smoother, that is true, but it does not cover them well, as if the wood rejected it. Viceversa, the paint sticks well on the soft parts of the wood, but the soft parts are generally not very smooth and thus blisters or stripes form... One then must remedy the defect by spreading the paint with a steady hand. Then in old pieces of furniture there are new parts, like this rung, for instance. And in order not to show that the poor ladder has been botched, but is very old, one must get the new rung and the old ones to be alike... There you are, like that! » Jesus bent at the foot of the ladder is working and speaking at the same time...
Thomas,
who has left his burins to come near Jesus and see, asks: «Why did You begin
from the bottom and not from the top? Was it not better the other way round?
»
«It
would appear to be better, but is not. Because the lower part is more worn out
and will wear out more because it rests on the ground. So you must paint it
several times. A first coat, a second and a third one if necessary... and not to
waste time waiting for the lower part to dry and thus be ready for a new coat,
you paint the top and then the central parts of the
ladder.»
«But
in doing so, one might stain one's clothes and spoil what was painted
previously.»
«If
you are careful you do not stain your clothes and you do not spoil anything.
See? This is how you do it. You gather your clothes and stand apart. Not out of
disgust for the paint, but not to spoil the paint which, being fresh, is
delicate » and Jesus with His arms raised up paints the top of the
ladder.
And
He continues to speak:
«And
you do the same with souls. At the beginning I told you that paint is like the
ornament of virtues on human hearts. It adorns and protects wood from wood‑worm,
from rain, from the sun. Woe to the landlord who does not take care of painted
fittings and allows them to deteriorate! When one sees that the wood is losing
its paint, one must not waste time, but fresh paint is to be put on. Paints must
be refreshed... Also virtues acquired in a first fit of enthusiasm towards
justice may grow feeble or fade away completely if the landlord does not watch,
and body and soul, laid bare, at the mercy of inclement weather and of
parasites, that is, of passions and dissipations, can be attacked and lose the
garment which adorns them, and end by being... good only for the fire.
Therefore, with regard both to ourselves and to those whom we love as our
disciples, when we notice that the virtues which serve to defend our egos are being shattered or are fading
away, we must provide at once with diligent patient work until the end of our
lives, so that we may go to sleep, when we die, with body and soul worthy of a
glorious resurrection. And in order to ensure that your virtues are true and
good, you must begin with pure courageous intentions, which remove all rubbish
and mould, and you must work not to leave any imperfection in the building up of
virtues, and then take an attitude, which is neither too hard nor too lenient,
because both intolerance and excessive indulgence are harmful. And the brush:
your will. Let it be free from pre‑existent human inclinations which might vein
the spiritual hue with material disfigurements, and prepare yourselves or other
people, with suitable operations, which are laborious, it is true, but
necessary, to cleanse the old ego
from any ancient leprosy, so that it may be pure to receive virtue. Because you
cannot mix what is new with what is old.
You
then begin to work: in good order, with consideration. You must not jump here
and there without a good reason. You must not work a little in one direction and
then a little in another. One would get less tired, that is true. But the paint
would be uneven. As happens in disorderly souls. They display perfect points,
then close to them there are deformities, different shades... One must insist on
the spots resisting the paint, on the knots: confusion of matter or of dissolute
passions, which, of course, have been mortified by will, which like a plane has
laboriously smoothed them, but they remain to offer resistance like a knot
amputated but not destroyed. And they deceive at times, as they appear to be
well clad with virtue, whereas it is but a light veil which soon falls off.
Beware of the knots of concupiscence. Ensure that virtue covers them over and
over again, so that they may not flourish again disfiguring the new ego. And cover the soft parts, which
receive the paint too easily, but they do so to their own liking: if there are
blisters and stripes you must insist with isinglass, smoothing and smoothing in
order to give one or more coats of paint, so that such parts may become as
glossy as hardened enamel. And watch that you do not overload. To exact too much
from virtue makes the creature rebel, boil over and blister at the first impact.
No. Neither too much nor too little. Be fair when working on yourselves and on
creatures made of flesh and soul.
And if, as in most cases ‑ because girls like Aurea are an exception, not the rule ‑ there are new parts mixed with old ones, as Israelites have, passing from Moses to the Christ, as well as heathens with their mosaic of beliefs which cannot be cancelled all of a sudden and will surface with nostalgic memories, at least in the most pure matters, then one must be more vigilant and tactful and insist until the old part is homogeneous with the new one making use of pre‑existent situations to complete the new virtues. For instance, the Romans hold in high esteem patriotism and manlike courage. They are both considered almost as myths. Well, do not destroy them but inculcate a new spirit on patriotism, that is, the spirit of making Rome great also spiritually as the Centre of Christendom and make use of Roman manliness to strengthen in Faith those who are strong in battle. Another instance: Aurea. Her disgust at a brutal revelation urges her to love what is pure and to hate what is impure. Well, make use of both feelings to lead her to perfect purity hating corruptness, as if it were the brutal Roman.
Do
you understand Me? And use habits as means of penetration. Do not destroy
brutally. You would not dispose at once of what is needed to build. But slowly
replace what must not remain in a
convert, with charity, patience and tenacity. And since matter
overwhelms people, heathens in particular as, even if they are
converts, they are always in touch with the heathen world, in which they
live, you must insist on the necessity of shunning sensual pleasures. All the
rest comes in after sensuality. Watch the exasperated sensuality of
heathens and which, let us admit it, is very strong also among us, and when you
notice that the contact with the world spoils the preservative paint, do not
continue to paint the top, but go back to the lower part, balancing spirit and
flesh, top and bottom. But always start from the flesh, from material vice, to
prepare the soul to receive the Guest Who does not cohabit in impure bodies or
with spirits stinking with carnal corruption... Do you understand
me?
And
do not be afraid of becoming corrupted if you touch with your garment the lower
parts, that is the material ones, of those whose spirits you are curing. Act
wisely, so that at all times you may reconstruct rather than bring about
ruination. Live engrossed in your ego
nourished with God, enveloped with virtue, proceed gently particularly when you
have to take care of the most sensitive spiritual ego of other people, and you will
certainly succeed in changing even the most despicable beings into creatures
worthy of Heaven.»
«What
a beautiful parable You have told us! I want to write it for Marjiam! » says the
Zealot.
«And
for me, as all of me is to be made beautiful for the Lord » says slowly trying
to find the words, Aurea who, barefooted, has been standing for some time at the
door of the kitchen garden.
«Oh!
Aurea! Were you listening to us? » asks Jesus.
«I
was listening to You. It is so beautiful! Have I done wrong?
»
«No,
girl. Have you been here long? »
«No.
And I am sorry because I do not know what You said previously. Your Mother has
sent me to tell You that the meal will be ready shortly. The bread is about to
be taken out of the oven. I have learned how to bake it... How lovely! And I
have learned to bleach linen, and Your Mother has told me two parables
concerning bread and linen.»
«Has
She? What did She say? »
«That
I am like flour still in the sieve, that Your goodness purifies me, Your grace
works in me, Your apostolate perfects me, Your love cooks me and from coarse
flour mixed with so much bran I will end up, if I allow myself to be worked on
by You, by being flour for hosts, flour and bread of sacrifice, good for the
Altar. And on the linen, which was dark, oily and coarse, and which after so
much borit grass (1)
and so many blows of mortification has become clean and soft, the sun will now
shine, and it will become white... And She said that that is what the Sun of God
will do with me, if I always remain in the Sun and I accept to be cleansed and
mortified to become worthy of the King of kings, of You, my Lord. What lovely
things I am learning... I seem to be dreaming... Lovely! Everything is beautiful
here... Do not send me away, Lord! »
«Would
you not like to go with Myrtha and Naomi? »
«I
would prefer to stay here... But... also with them. But not with Romans, no,
Lord...»
«Pray,
child! » says Jesus laying His hand on her honey‑blond hair. «Have you learned
the prayer? »
«Oh!
yes! It is so lovely to say: "My Father!" and think of Heaven... But the will of
God frightens me a little... because I do not know whether God wants what I
want...»
«God
wants your welfare.»
«Does
He? You say so?! In that case I am no longer afraid... I feel that I will remain
in Israel... to become more and more acquainted with this Father of mine...
And... to be the first disciple of Gaul, my Lord! »
«Your
faith will be satisfied because it is good. Let us go...»
And
they all go out towards the basin under the spring of water to wash themselves,
while Aurea runs to Mary and their two feminine voices are heard: Mary's, which
is fluent in speaking, whereas the other is uncertain, of a person trying to
find words. And one can hear their shrill voices laughing when a
(1)
Soap‑wort.
language
error is made and which Mary corrects kindly...
«The
girl is learning well and quickly » remarks Thomas.
«Yes.
She is good and willing.»
«And
then! With Your Mother as teacher!... Not even Satan could resist Her!...» says
the Zealot.
Jesus
sighs without speaking...
«Why
are You sighing thus, Master? Was I not right? »
«Yes,
quite right. But there are men more resistant than Satan, who at least runs away
from Mary's presence. There are men who are close to Her and who, although
taught by Her, do not improve...»
«But
not us, eh? » says Thomas.
«No,
not you... Let us go...»
They
go into the house and it all ends.
433. The Sabbaths in the Peace of
Nazareth.
13th May
1946.
The
Sabbath is a day of rest. That is already known. And men rest as well as having
tools covered up or neatly arranged in their places.
Now
that the red sunset of a summer Friday is almost over, Mary, Who is sat at Her
smaller loom in the shade of the huge apple‑tree, stands up, covers it and with
the help of Thomas She carries it back to its place in the house. And She asks
Aurea, who is sitting on a little stool at Her feet sewing with still unskilful
hand the dresses given to her by the Roman ladies and fitted on her by Mary, to
fold her work tidily and put it on the shelf in her little room. And while Aurea
is doing so, the Mother with Thomas goes into the workshop where Jesus and the
Zealot are busy putting straight saws, planes, screwdrivers, hammers, tins of
paint and glue and sweeping away sawdust and shavings from benches and the
floor. Of all the work done so far only two small planks of wood remain, gripped
in a vice, at an angle, so that the glue may dry up at the joints (it may be a
future drawer), and a stool, half painted, besides the strong smell of fresh
paint.
Aurea
also goes in and she bends over Thomas's burin work, which she admires and asks,
somewhat curious and instinctively coquettish, what it is for and whether it
would suit her.
«It would suit you fine, but it suits you better to be good. These ornaments embellish the body only, but are of no use to the spirit. Nay, by cherishing coquetry, they are harmful to the spirit.»
«Why
do you make them, then? » asks the logical girl. «Do you want to harm a spirit?
»
Thomas,
who is always kind‑hearted, smiles at the remark and says: «What is superfluous
is harmful to a weak spirit. But in the case of a strong spirit, an ornament
remains exactly what it is: a brooch to hold a garment in
place.»
«For
whom are you making it? For your bride? »
«I
have no bride and will never have one.»
«For
your sister, then.»
«She
has more than she needs.»
«For
your mother, then.»
«Poor
old soul! What would she do with it? »
«But
it is for a woman...»
«Yes,
but it is not you.»
«Oh!
I would not even think of it... And, now that you have said that those things
there are harmful to the spirit, I would not like to have it. And I will take
the fringes off my dresses. I do not want to do any harm to what belongs to my
Saviour! »
«Clever
girl! See, with your good will you have done a nicer work than
mine.»
«Oh!
You are saying so because you are kind!...»
«I
am saying it because it is true. See: I took this piece of silver, I reduced it
to thin plates as I needed them, then with a tool, or rather with many tools, I
folded it thus. But I still have to do the most important work: join the parts
together in a natural manner. At present, only these two tiny leaves joined to
their little flower are complete » and Thomas with his big fingers lifts a
graceful stem of a lily of the valley joined to a leaf which is a perfect
imitation of a natural one. It is impressive to see the trinket shining with the
brilliancy of pure silver held by the strong dark fingers of the
goldsmith.
«Oh!
lovely! There were many on the island and we were allowed to pick them before
sunrise. Because we blond girls had never to take the sun, so that we might be
more valuable. They compelled brunettes instead to stay out in the sun, until
they felt sick, to become darker. They... What do you say when one sells
something saying that it is one thing, whereas it is
another?...»
«Who
knows!... Deceit... swindle... I don't know.»
«See,
they deceived them saying that they were Arabs or that they came from the Upper
Nile, where it rises. They sold one girl saying that she was a descendant of the
Queen of Sheba.»
«Fancy
that! They did not deceive the girls, but the purchasers. So you say: they
cheated. What a race! A wonderful surprise for the purchaser when he saw... the
false Ethiopian grow lighter! Did You hear that, Master? How many things we do
not know!...»
«Yes,
I heard. But the sad side is not the cheating of the purchasers... it is the
destiny of the girls...»
«That
is true. Souls desecrated for ever. Lost...»
«No.
God can always intervene…»
«He
did on my behalf. You saved me!...»
says Aurea turning her clear serene eyes towards the Lord. And she
concludes: «And I am so happy! » and as she cannot go and embrace Jesus, she
clasps Mary with one arm bending her fair‑haired head on the Virgin's shoulder
in a gesture of confident love. The two fair‑haired heads stand out, in their
different shades, against the dark wall. A most gentle
group.
But
Mary has to see to the supper. They part and go away.
«May
I come in? » says the rather hoarse voice of Peter at the workshop door which
opens onto the road.
«Simon!
Open the door! »
«Simon!
He could not stay away! » exclaims Thomas laughing while he runs to
open.
«Simon!
This was to be expected...» says the Zealot smiling.
But
it is not only Peter's face which appears at the door. All the apostles from the
lake are there, with the exception of Bartholomew and the Iscariot. And Judas
and James of Alphaeus have already joined them.
«Peace
to you! But why did you come in this heat? »
«Because...
we could not stay away any longer. It's two and a half weeks, You know? Do You
understand? We have not seen You for two and a half weeks! » and Peter seems to
be saying: «Two hundred years! An
enormity! »
«But
I told you to wait for Judas on every Sabbath.»
«Yes,
but he did not come on the last two Sabbaths... and we have come here on the
third one. Nathanael remained there because he is not too well. And he will
receive Judas, if he goes there... But he will not go... Passing through
Tiberias to come to us, before going to the Great Hermon, Benjamin and Daniel
told us that they had seen him at Tiberias and... Of course. I will tell You
later...» says Peter who has stopped speaking because of a tug at his tunic by
his brother.
«All
right. You will tell Me... But you were all so anxious to have a rest, and now
that you had a chance you have been running about like this! When did you leave?
»
«Yesterday
evening. The lake was like a mirror. We landed at Tarichea to avoid Tiberias...
so that we would not meet Judas...»
«Why?
»
«Because,
Master, we wanted to enjoy Your company in peace.»
«You
are selfish! »
«No.
He already has his joys... Well! I don't know who gives him so much money to
enjoy it with... Yes, I have understood, Andrew. But don't pull my tunic so
violently. You know that it is the only one I have. Do you want me to go back in
rags? »
Andrew
blushes. The others laugh. Jesus smiles.
«Well.
We landed at Tarichea also because, well, don't reproach me... It may be the
heat, it may be that I become wicked when I am far away from You, it may be the
thought that he left you to join... Listen, stop tearing at my sleeve! You see
that I can stop in time!... So, Master, it may be for many reasons... I did not
want to commit a sin and if I had seen him I would have committed one. So I went
straight to Tarichea. And at dawn we set off.»
«Did
you pass through Cana? »
«No.
We did not want to come the long way round... But it was a long way all the
same. And the fish was beginning to go bad... We gave it to the people in a
house, to have shelter for a few hours... the warm hours. And we left after the
ninth hour, about the middle of the following hour... It was like an
oven!…»
«You
could have saved yourselves the trouble. I was coming
soon...»
«When?
»
«When
the sun comes out of Leo.»
«And
do You think we could stay so long without You? We will defy a thousand of such
hot days and we will come to see You. Our Master! Our adored Master! » and Peter
embraces his lost Treasure.
«And
yet, when we are together you do nothing but complain of the weather, of the
length of journeys...»
«Because
we are foolish. Because, while we are together we do not really understand what
You are for us... But here we are. We are all already settled. Some will stay
with Mary of Alphaeus, some with Simon of Alphaeus, some with Ishmael, some with
Aser and some here, nearby, with Alphaeus. We will rest now and tomorrow evening
we will leave, and we will be more happy.»
«On
last Sabbath we had Myrtha and Naomi here, they came to see the girl again »
says Thomas.
«You
can see that whoever can manage to do so, comes here! »
«Yes,
Peter. And what have you done during these days? »
«We
have fished... painted the boats... mended the nets... Marjiam often goes
fishing with the servants, which reduces the insults of my mother‑in‑law against
"the sluggard who lets his wife die of starvation after bringing an illegitimate
son to her". And yet Porphirea has never been so well as now that she has
Marjiam for her heart... and for everything else. The sheep from three have
become five and will soon be more...
It is a great help for a little family like ours! And Marjiam by fishing makes
up for what I do not do, except very rarely. But that woman has the tongue of a
viper, whereas her daughter has the tongue of a dove... But I see that You have
been working as well...»
«Yes,
Simon. We have worked. All of us. My
brothers in their house, these apostles and I in Mine. To make our mothers happy
and let them rest.»
«Well,
we have been working, too » say the sons of Zebedee.
«My
wife and I have worked at the beehives and in the vineyard » says
Philip.
«And
what about you, Matthew? »
«I
have no one to make happy... so I made myself happy by writing down the things
that I like to remember...»
«Oh!
in that case we will tell you the parable of the paint. I, a very inexperienced
painter, was the cause of it...» says the Zealot.
«But
you soon learned the trade. Look how smooth he made this seat! » says
Thaddeus...
They
are in perfect harmony. And Jesus, Who looks more rested since He has been at
home, is bright with joy at having His dear apostles with
Him.
Aurea
comes and remains on the threshold surprised.
«Oh!
here she is! Look how well she is! She looks like a true little Hebrew, dressed
like that! »
Aurea
blushes and does not know what to say. But Peter is so good natured and
fatherly, that she soon recovers and says: «I am striving to become one... and
with the help of my Teacher I hope to be one soon... Master, I am going to tell
Your Mother that these people are here...» and she goes away
quickly.
«She
is a good girl » states the Zealot.
«Yes.
I would like her to remain with us in Israel. Bartholomew lost a good chance and
much joy by refusing her...» says Thomas.
«Bartholomew
is very respectful of... formulae » says Philip excusing
him.
«His
only fault » remarks Jesus.
Mary
comes in...
«Peace
to You, Mary » say those who came from Capernaum.
«Peace
to you... I did not know that you were here. I will provide at once... Come in
the meantime...»
«Our
mother is coming from our house with some provisions, and Salome is coming as
well. Do not worry, Mary » says James of Alphaeus.
«Let
us go into the kitchen garden... The evening breeze is rising and it is pleasant
in there...» says Jesus.
And they go into the kitchen garden and sit here and there, conversing fraternally, while the doves coo competing for the last meal which Aurea is spreading on the ground... It is then time to water the flower‑beds and the beautiful vegetables so useful to man. And the apostles want to do it cheerfully, while Mary of Alphaeus, who has just arrived, and Aurea and the Virgin prepare a meal for the guests. And the smell of sizzling food mingles with that of the moist earth, as the chirping of birds competing cheekily for a good spot among the thick leaves above the garden, mingles with the deep or shrill voices of the apostles...
434.
Before
Being a Mother, the Blessed Virgin Is a Daughter and
Servant of God.
14th May
1946.
And
the Sabbath wears on. It is the true Sabbath. In the wonderful morning, when the
air is still fresh and cool, it is beautiful to sit in a brotherly peaceful
gathering under the shady pergola, or where the apple‑tree, close to the fig and
almond‑trees, forms with them patches of shade extending that of the pergola on
which grapes are ripening. And it is nice to walk up and down the paths between
the flower‑beds going from the beehives to the dove‑cot and then to the little
grotto, and, passing behind the women - Mary, Mary of Clopas, the
daughter‑in‑law of the latter: Salome of Simon, Aurea ‑ going towards the few
olive‑trees which from the cliff hang over the peaceful kitchen garden. And that
is what Jesus and His disciples, Mary and the other women are doing. And Jesus
teaches unintentionally, and so does Mary. And the apostles of the Former and
the women disciples of the Latter are carefully listening to the words of the
two Teachers.
Aurea,
sat on her usual little stool at Mary's feet, almost in a squatting posture, is
embracing her knees with joined hands, her face is raised and her wide‑open eyes
are staring at Mary's face. She looks like a little girl who is listening to a
wonderful tale. But it is not a tale. It is a beautiful truth. Mary is telling
the little heathen of yesterday the ancient stories of Israel and the other
women, although they already know them, are listening attentively. Because it is
pleasant to hear the story of Rachel, that of the daughter of Jephthah, that of
Hannah of Elkanah, flowing from Her lips!
Judas
of Alphaeus comes near slowly and listens smiling. He is behind Mary Who
therefore cannot see him. But the smiling look of Mary of Clopas at her Judas
tells Mary that someone is behind Her and She turns round: «Oh! Judas? Have you
left Jesus to hear Me, a poor woman? »
«Yes.
I left You to go to Jesus, because You were my first teacher. But at times it is
pleasant for me to leave Him and come to You, and become again a boy as when I
was Your disciple. Go on, please...»
«Aurea
wants her reward each Sabbath. And the reward consists in telling her what
impressed her most in our History, a little of which I explain to her every day
while working.»
The
others also have come near... Thaddeus asks: «And what do you like, child?
»
«So
much, I could say everything... But Rachel very much, and Hannah of Elkanah,
then Ruth... then... ah! beautiful! Tobit and Tobias with the Angel, and then
the bride who prays to be freed...»
«And
Moses, no? »
«He
frightens me... Too great... And of the prophets I like Daniel who defends
Susanna.» She looks around and then whispers: «I also was defended by my Daniel
» and she looks at Jesus.
«But
also Moses' books are beautiful! »
«Yes.
Where they teach not to do what is bad. And where they speak of that star which
will be born of Jacob. I know its name now. I knew nothing before. And I am more
fortunate than that prophet because I can see it and close by. She told me
everything and I know as well » she concludes with an air of
triumph.
«And
do you not like Passover? »
«Yes...
but... also the children of other people are the sons of mothers. Why kill them?
I prefer the God Who saves to the God Who kills...»
«You
are right... Mary, have You not told her anything yet of His Birth? » asks James
pointing at the Lord Who is listening in silence.
«Not
yet. I want her to know the past well before the present. She will thus
understand the present which has in the past its reason for being. When she
knows it, she will see that the God Who frightens her, the God of Sinai, is but
a God of severe love, but still a God of love.»
«Oh!
Mother! Tell me now! It will be less difficult for me to understand the past
when I know the present, which, as far as I know, is so beautiful and makes one
love God without fear. I need not to be
afraid! »
«The girl is right. You must remember that truth when you will be evangelizing. Souls need not to be afraid in order to go to God with full confidence. It is what I am striving to do, all the more when people, either through ignorance or because of their faults, are likely to be much afraid of God. But God, also the God Who struck the Egyptians and Who frightens you, Aurea, is always good. See: when He killed the sons of the cruel Egyptians, He had mercy on the sons, who did not grow up and did not become sinners like their fathers and He gave their parents time to repent of their evil doings. So it was severe goodness. One must be able to tell true goodness from loose upbringing. Also when I was a little baby, many little children were killed on the very laps of their mothers. And the world cried with horror. But when Time exists no more for individuals or for all Mankind, for a first time and for a second time you will realise that those were fortunate, blessed in Israel, in the Israel of the times of Christ, who slaughtered in their infancy, were preserved from the biggest sin, that of being accomplices in the death of the Saviour.»
«Jesus! » shouts Mary of Alphaeus springing to her feet, frightened, looking around as if she were afraid to see deicides appear from behind hedges and trunks of trees. «Jesus! » she repeats looking at him painfully.
«What?
Do you perhaps not know the Scriptures, since you are so surprised at what I
say? » asks Jesus.
«But...
But... It is not possible... You must not allow that... Your
Mother...»
«She
is Saviour like Me, and She knows. Look at Her. And imitate
Her.»
Mary
is in fact austere, regal in Her deep pallor. She is motionless, with Her hands
in Her lap clasped as if in prayer, Her head straight, looking into
space...
Mary
of Alphaeus looks at Her. She then addresses Jesus again: «All the same, You
must not mention that horrible future! You are piercing Her heart with a
sword.»
«That
sword has been in Her heart for thirty‑two years.»
«No!
It's not possible! Mary... always so serene... Mary...»
«Ask
Her, if you do not believe what I say.»
«I
will ask Her! Is it true, Mary? You know?...»
And
Mary in a gentle but firm voice says: «It is true. He was forty days old and I
was told by a holy man... But also previously... Oh! When the Angel told Me that
while remaining the Virgin I would conceive a Son, Who would be called the Son
of God and is such because of His divine conception, when I was told that, and
that in the barren womb of Elizabeth a fruit had been formed by a miracle of the
Eternal Father, I had no difficulty in remembering the words of Isaiah: "The
Virgin will give birth to a son and they will call Him the Immanuel"… All, all
Isaiah! And where he speaks of the Precursor... And where he speaks of the Man
of sorrows, stained with blood, unrecognizable... a leper... for our sins... The
sword has been in My heart since then and everything has served to drive it in
more deeply: the song of the angels and the words of Simeon and the visit of the
Kings from the East, and everything...»
«But
which other everything, Mary? Jesus is triumphing, Jesus works miracles, Jesus
is followed by larger and larger crowds... Is that not the truth? » says Mary of
Alphaeus.
And
Mary, always in the same posture replies to each question: «Yes...» without
anguish, without joy, only a quiet assent, because it is
so...
«Well
then? Which other everything is
piercing Your heart with a sword? »
«Oh!...
Everything...»
«And
You are so calm? So serene? Always the same as when You arrived here, a young
bride, thirty‑three years ago, and I remember it so well that it seems yesterday
to me... But how can You?... I... I would be mad... I would do... I don't know
what I would do... I... No! It is not possible for a mother to know that and to
be calm! »
«Before being a Mother, I am a daughter and servant of God... Where do I find My tranquillity? In doing the will of God. From where does My serenity come? From doing that will. If I had to do the will of a man, I might be upset, because a man, even the wisest, can always impose a wrong will. But the will of God! If He wanted Me to be the Mother of His Christ, have I perhaps to think that that is cruel, and in that thought lose My serenity? Am I to be upset by the thought of what Redemption will be to Him and to Me, also to Me, and how I will be able to overcome that hour? Oh! it will be dreadful...» Mary gives an involuntary start, She suddenly shudders and clenches Her hands to prevent them from trembling, as if She wanted to pray more fervently, while Her face grows even paler and Her delicate eyelids close on Her kind sky‑blue eyes with an expression full of anguish. But She steadies Her voice after a deep sigh of anxiety and She concludes: «But He, Who imposed His will on Me and Whom I serve with confident love, will grant Me His assistance for that hour. He will grant it to Me, to Him... Because the Father cannot impose a will that exceeds the strength of man... and He succours... always... And He will succour us, My Son... He will succour us... and there is no one but He, with His infinite means, who can succour us...»
«Yes,
Mother. Love will succour us, and in love we will succour each other. And in
love we will redeem...» Jesus has gone beside His Mother and lays His hand on
Her shoulder and She raises Her face to look at Him, at Her handsome healthy
Jesus destined to be disfigured by torture, killed with a thousand wounds, and
She says: «In love and in sorrow... Yes. And together...»
No one speaks any more... Standing around the two chief Protagonists of the future tragedy of Golgotha, the apostles and women disciples look like pensive statues...
Aurea,
on her little stool, is petrified... But she is the first to collect herself and
without standing up she slides on her knees and thus finds herself facing Mary.
She embraces Her knees and bends her head on Her lap saying: «All that also for
me!... How much I cost You and how much I love You for what I cost! Oh! Mother
of my God, bless me, that my cost may not be fruitless...»
«Yes,
My daughter. Be not afraid. God will help you as well, if you always accept His
will.» She caresses her hair and cheeks and feels them wet with tears. «Do not
weep! The first thing of the Christ with which you have become acquainted is His
sorrowful destiny, the end of His mission as Man. It is not fair, having learned
that, that you should be unacquainted with the first hour of His life in the
world. Listen... Everybody will be pleased to come out of the dark bitter
contemplation by recalling the sweet hour, full of light, of songs, of hosannas,
of His Birth... Listen...» and Mary, explaining the reason for Her journey to
Bethlehem in Judah, the town predicted to be the birthplace of the Saviour, in a
soft gentle voice tells the story of the night of Christ's
Nativity.
435. Jesus and His Mother
Converse.
15th May
1946.
I
do not know whether it is the evening of the same Sabbath. I know that I see
Jesus and Mary, sitting on the stone seat against the house, near the door of
the dining‑room, from which comes the faint light of an oil lamp placed close to
the door. The little flame palpitates in the air, rising and sinking, as if it
were breathing. It is the only light in the moonless night: a faint light
visible in the kitchen garden where it illuminates the small strip of ground
before the door and dies on the first rose‑bush in the flower‑bed. But the
feeble light is sufficient to illuminate the profiles of the Two engaged in
intimate talk in the calm night full of the scent of jasmines and other summer
flowers.
They
are speaking of their relatives... of Joseph of Alphaeus persistently stubborn,
of Simon not very brave in his profession of faith, overwelmed as he is by his
eldest brother, who is as overbearing and obstinate in his ideas as his father
was. It is the great sorrow of Mary Who would like all Her nephews to be
disciples of Her Jesus.
Jesus
comforts Her and to excuse His cousin He points out his strong Israelitic faith:
«An obstacle, You know? A real obstacle. Because all the formulae and precepts
form a barrier against the acceptance of the Messianic idea in its truth. It is
easier to convert a heathen, provided his spirit is not completely corrupt. A
heathen ponders and sees the good difference between his Olympus and My Kingdom. But Israel... the more
learned part of Israel... finds it difficult to follow the new
concept!...»
«And
yet it is always that concept! »
«Yes.
It is always that Decalogue, those prophecies. But their nature has been
perverted by man. He has taken them, and from the supernatural spheres where
they were, and has brought them down to the level of the Earth, in the
atmosphere of the world, he has handled them with his humanity altering them...
The Messiah, the spiritual King of the great Kingdom ‑ which is called Kingdom
of Israel, because the Messiah is born
of the throne of Israel, but it would be more correct to call it: the
Kingdom of Christ, because Christ centralises the better part of Israel, both
past and present, and sublimates it in His perfection of God‑Man ‑ according to
them the Messiah, cannot be the meek poor man, without yearning after power and
riches, obedient to those who rule over us by divine punishment, because
obedience is holiness when it does not invalidate the great Law. We can
therefore say that their faith works against the true Faith. Of such stubborn
people convinced that they are right, there are many... in every class... and
even among My relatives and apostles. Believe, Mother, that their dullness in
believing in My Passion lies in that. Their errors in valuation originate from
that... Also their obstinate aversion to consider Gentiles and idolaters, not
looking at man, but at the spirit of man, that spirit which has only one Origin and to which God would like
to give only one Destiny: Heaven.
Take Bartholomew... He is an instance. Very good, wise, willing to do everything
to honour and comfort Me... But before, I will not say an Aglae or a Syntyche,
who is already a flower compared with poor Aglae, whom penance only restores
from filth to a flower, but not even before a child, a poor child whose lot
excites pity and whose instinctive modesty draws admiration, does his disgust
for the Gentiles vanish, neither does My example convince him, nor My words that
I have come for everybody.»
«You
are right. Nay, Bartholomew and Judas of Kerioth, the two most learned, or at
least: the learned Bartholomew, and Judas of Kerioth, who I do not know to which
class he belongs exactly, but who is imbued and saturated with the air of the
Temple, are the most resistant. But... Bartholomew is good and his resistance
can still be excused. Judas... no. You heard what Matthew, who went to Tiberias
on purpose, said... And Matthew is a man of experience, particularly of that
life... And the remark of James of Zebedee is correct: "Who is it that gives so
much money to Judas?". Because that life costs... Poor Mary of Simon!
»
Jesus
makes His gesture with His hands, to say: «It is so...» and He sighs. He then
says: «Did You hear that? The Roman ladies are at Tiberias... Valeria has not
told Me anything. But I must know before I resume My journey. Mother, I want You
to come to Capernaum with Me for some time... You will then come back here, I
will go towards the Syro‑Phoenician border, and I will come back to say goodbye
to You before going down towards Judaea, the obstinate sheep of
Israel...»
«Son,
I will go tomorrow evening... I will take Mary of Alphaeus with Me. Aurea will
stay with Simon of Alphaeus, because her staying here with You for several days
would certainly be criticised... Such is the world... And I will go... To Cana
as first stage, then at dawn I will leave and stop at the house of the mother of
Salome of Simon. Then I will set out again at sunset and we will arrive at
Tiberias in daylight. I will stay in the house of Joseph, the disciple, because
I want to go personally to Valeria's house, and if I went to Johanna's, she
would want to go... No. I, the Mother of the Saviour, will appear in her eyes,
different from the disciple of the Saviour... and she will not say no to Me. Do
not be afraid, Son! »
«I
am not afraid. But I am sorry for all Your trouble.»
«Oh!
to save a soul! What are twenty miles in a good season? »
«It
will also be a moral strain. To beg... perhaps to be
humiliated...»
«A
passing trifle. But a soul remains! »
«You
will be like a lost swallow in corrupt Tiberias... Take Simon with
You.»
«No,
Son. Just the two of us, two poor women... But two mothers and two disciples.
That is, two great moral strengths... I will not be long. Let Me go... Just
bless Me.»
«Yes,
Mother. With all My heart as Son, and with all My power as God. Go and may the
angels escort you along the way.»
«Thank
You, Jesus. Well, let us go in. I will have to get up at dawn to prepare
everything for those who leave and for those who are staying. Say the prayer,
Son...»
Both
Jesus and Mary stand up and they say together the Our Father... They then go
back into the house, they close the door... the light disappears and human
voices are heard no more. Only the rustling of the breeze among the leaves can
be heard and the soft gurgling of the water in the fountain
basin...
436. The Blessed Virgin at
Tiberias.
16th May
1946.