421. The Repentant Sinner Is always To Be
Forgiven.
25th April
1946.
They
are now on the other bank. On their right are mount Tabor and the little Hermon,
on their left the mountains of Samaria, the Jordan is behind them, and in front
of them, beyond the plain in which they are, the hills in front of which is
Megiddo; (if my memory does not fail me, I heard this name in a remote vision,
the one in which Jesus joins Judas of Kerioth and Thomas, after the separation
brought about by the necessity of concealing the departure of Syntyche and John
of Endor).
They must have rested all day in some hospitable
house, because it is evening once again and it is evident that they have rested.
It is still warm, but dew is already beginning to form, mitigating the heat. And
violet shadows of twilight are falling after the last red flares of a blazing
sunset.
«We
can walk without difficulty here » remarks Matthew
happily.
«Yes.
If we proceed this fast, we shall be at Megiddo before cock‑crow » the Zealot
replies to him.
«And
at dawn we shall be beyond the hills, in sight of the plain of Sharon »
concludes John.
«And
of your sea, eh? » says his brother teasing him.
«Yes.
Of my sea...» replies John smiling.
«And
with your spirit you will depart on one of your spiritual wanderings » says
Peter pressing his arm with strong fatherly affection. And he concludes: «Teach
me as well, how to draw certain... angelical thoughts from the sight of things.
I have looked at water so many times... I have loved it... but... but it has
never been of any avail to me other than to earn my living by fishing in it.
What do you see in it?...»
«I
see water, Simon. Like you and everybody else. As I now see fields and
orchards... But then, beside the eyes of my body, I have other eyes in here, and
I no longer see grass and water but words of wisdom come out from those material
things. It is not I who think. I would not be able. It is somebody else who
thinks in me.»
«Are
you perhaps a prophet? » asks the Iscariot somewhat
ironically.
«Oh!
no! I am not a prophet...»
«What
then? Do you think that you possess God? »
«Even
less so...»
«You
must be raving then.»
«It
might well be so, I am so small and weak. But if it is so, it is pleasant raving
and leads me to God. My disease then becomes a gift and I bless the Lord for
it.»
«Ha!
Ha! Ha! » Judas guffaws maliciously.
Jesus,
Who has been listening, says: «He is not ill, he is not a prophet. But a pure
soul possesses wisdom. It is wisdom that speaks in the heart of a just
man.»
«In
that case I will never get there, because I have not always been good...» says
Peter, somewhat discouraged.
«What
about me, then? » replies Matthew.
«My
friends, only few people, too few could possess wisdom because they have always
been pure. But repentance and good will make man, previously guilty and
imperfect, just, and then the conscience is purified in the bath of humility,
contrition and love, and thus purified, it can vie with those who are
pure.»
«Thank
You, Lord » says Matthew bending to kiss the hand of the
Master.
There
is silence. Then Judas exclaims: «I am tired! I don't know whether I will be
able to walk all night.»
«No
wonder! Today you wandered about like a blowfly, while we were sleeping! » James
of Zebedee replies to him.
«I
wanted to see if I met any of the disciples...»
«What
did it matter to you? The Master did not tell you. So...»
«Well,
I did it. And if the Master allows me, I will stop at Megiddo. I think a friend
of ours is there, he goes there every year, at this time, after harvest‑time. I
would like to speak to him of my mother and...»
«Do
as you wish. After your errand you will go to Nazareth. We will meet you there.
You can thus inform My Mother and Mary of Alphaeus that we shall soon be
home.»
«I
also say to You, as Matthew did: "Thank You, Lord".»
Jesus
does not reply, and He receives the kiss on His hand as He received Matthew's.
It is not possible to see His countenance because it is the moment in the
evening when daylight has disappeared completely and there is no starlight as
yet. It is so dark that they are proceeding along the road with difficulty and
to avoid all possible trouble Peter and Thomas decide to light some twigs, which
they have taken from hedges and which burn with a crackle. But the lack of light
previously and the smoky moving light later do not enable one to see the
expressions of faces.
In
the meantime they are approaching the hills, the dark tops of which are visible
because they are darker than the mown fields, where the stubble looks whitish
against the black of the night, and they become more and more visible as they
are approached and as the light of the first stars illuminates
them...
«I
would leave You here, as my friends lives a little outside Megiddo. I am so
tired...»
«You
may go. May the Lord watch over your steps.»
«Thank
You, Master. Goodbye, friends.»
«Goodbye,
goodbye » say the others without attaching much importance to their
greetings.
Jesus
repeats: «May the Lord watch over your actions.»
Judas
goes away quickly.
«H'm!
He doesn't look so tired » remarks Peter.
«True!
He was dragging his feet here. But now he is running like a gazelle over
there...» says Nathanael.
«Your
farewell was a holy one, Brother. But unless the Lord overwhelms him with His
will, the assistance of God will not help him to take good steps and do fair
actions.»
«Judas,
the fact that you are My brother does not exempt you from being reproached! I
therefore reproach you for being harsh and pitiless towards your companion. He
has his faults. But you also have yours. And the first is that you do not
endeavour to help Me to perfect his soul. You exasperate him with your words. It
is not with violence that you bend hearts. Do you think that you are entitled to
censor every action of his? Do you consider yourself so perfect as to be able to
do so? May I remind you that I, your Master, do not do so, because I love that
imperfect soul. It moves Me to pity more than any other soul... just because it
is imperfect. Do you think that he is happy with his state? And how will you be
able to be a master of spirits in future, if with one of your companions you do
not practise to make use of the infinite charity which redeems sinners?
»
Judas
of Alphaeus has bent his head as from the first words. But at the end he kneels
on the ground saying: «Forgive me. I am a sinner. And reproach me when I am
wrong, because reproof is love, and only a fool does not appreciate the grace of
being corrected by a wise person.»
«You
can see that I do it for your own good. And forgiveness is joined to My reproach
because I can understand the reason for your severity and because the humility
of the person corrected disarms him who corrects. Stand up, Judas, and sin no
more » and He keeps him beside Himself with John.
The
other apostles exchange comments with one another, whispering at first, then in
louder voices out of their habit of speaking aloud. I can thus hear them make
comparisons between the two Judases.
«If
it had been Judas of Kerioth to get that reproach, I wonder how he would have
reacted! Your brother is good » says Thomas to James.
«But...
well... We cannot say that what he said was wrong. He said one thing which is
true with regard to Judas of Kerioth. Do you believe the story of the friend who
goes to Judaea? I don't » says Matthew frankly.
«It
must be... vineyard matters as it happened at the Jericho market » says Peter
referring to the scene which he cannot forget. They all
laugh.
«It
certainly takes the Master to pity him so much...» remarks Philip.
«So
much? Always, you should say » replies James of Zebedee.
«If
it were I, I would not be so patient » says Nathanael.
«Neither
would I. Yesterday's scene was disgusting » confirms
Matthew.
«The
man cannot be completely sound of mind » says the Zealot
conciliatorily.
«But
he knows how to look after his business. He is even too clever. I would bet my
boat, my nets, even my house, sure that I would not lose anything, that he has
gone to see some Pharisee to beg for protection...» says
Peter.
«That's
right. Ishmael! There is Ishmael at Megiddo! How come we never thought of that?!
We must tell the Master! » exclaims Thomas striking his forehead vigorously with
his hand.
«It
is of no use. The Master would excuse him once again and would reproach us »
says the Zealot.
«Well...
let us try. James, go: He loves you and you are a relative of
His...»
«We
are all alike, as far as He is concerned. Here, He does not see us as relatives
or friends, He sees only apostles and He is impartial. But I will go, just to
please you » says James of Alphaeus. And he quickens his step to depart from his
companions and join Jesus.
«You
think that he has gone to see a Pharisee. This one or that one... it does not
matter... But I think he did it in order not to come to Caesarea. He does not
come there willingly...» says Andrew.
«He
seems to have been disgusted with the Roman ladies for some time » remarks
Thomas.
«And
yet... while you were going to Engedi and I was going with him to Lazarus, he
was so happy to speak to Claudia...» says the Zealot.
«Yes...
but... I think that he did something wrong just then. And I think that Johanna
knows and that is why she sent for Jesus and... and I have been making many
suppositions since Judas flew into a passion at Bethzur...» grumbles Peter
between his teeth.
«Do
you mean that?...» asks Matthew curiously.
«Well...
I don't know... Ideas... We shall see...»
«Oh!
Don't let us think of evil things! The Master does not approve of that. And we
have no proof that he did anything wrong » says Andrew
imploringly.
«You
are not going to tell me that he acts rightly in grieving the Master, in lacking
in respect to Him, in causing ill feelings...»
«Be
good, Simon! I can assure you that he is somewhat mad...» says the
Zealot.
«Well.
He may be. But he sins against the kindness of our Lord. If he spat in my face,
if he boxed my ears, I would put up with that and offer it to God for his
redemption. I have taken it into my head to make every sacrifice for that and I
bite my tongue and I run my nails into the palms of my hands when he plays the
fool, in order to control myself. But I cannot forgive him for being bad to our
Master. The sin he commits against Him, it's the same as if he committed it
against me, and I cannot forgive him. Then... if it were only now and again! But
he is always at it! I cannot get over the anger boiling within me about one of
his quarrels, and he makes a fresh scene! Once, twice, three times... There is a
limit!» Peter is almost shouting his words and is gesticulating
impetuously.
Jesus,
Who is about ten metres ahead of them, turns round, a white shadow in the night,
and He says:
«There is no
limit to love and forgiveness. There is none. Neither in God nor in the true
children of God. As long as there is life, there is no limit. The only obstacle
to the descent of forgiveness and love is the impenitent resistance of the
sinner. But if he repents, he is always to be forgiven, even if he sinned not
once, twice or three times a day, but much more frequently. You also sin and you
want to be forgiven by God and you go to Him saying: "I have sinned! Forgive
me". And forgiveness is pleasant to you and it is pleasant to God to forgive.
And you are not gods. Consequently the offence given to you by people like
yourselves is less grave than that given to God, Who is not like anybody else.
Do you not think so? And yet God forgives. Do likewise yourselves. Be careful!
Watch that your intolerance does not become detrimental to you by causing God to
be intolerant towards you. I have already told you, but I will repeat it once
again. Be merciful in order to have mercy. No one is so sinless as to be
inexorable towards a sinner. Look at your own burdens before considering those
weighing on the hearts of other people. Remove yours from your souls and then
turn to those of other people to show them not the severity that condemns, but
the love that teaches and helps to be freed from evil. In order to be able to
say ‑ and not be silenced by a sinner ‑ in order to be able to say: "You have
sinned against God and against your neighbour" it is necessary not to have
sinned or at least to have made amends for the sin. In order to be able to say
to those who are dejected because they have sinned: "Have faith that God
forgives those who repent" as servants of God Who forgives repentant souls ‑ you
must show so much mercy in forgiving. Then you will be able to say: "See,
repentant sinner? I forgive your sins seven and seven times, because I am a
servant of Him Who forgives countless times those who repent of their sins as
many times. Consider then how the Perfect One forgives, if I know how to
forgive, simply because I serve Him. Have faith!". You must be able to say so,
and say so with your deeds, not just with words. You must say so forgiving. So
if your brother sins, admonish him kindly, and if he repents, forgive him. And
if at the end of the day he has sinned seven times and says to you seven times:
"I repent", forgive him seven times. Have you understood? Will you promise Me
that you will do that? While he is away, do you promise Me to be indulgent to
him and to help Me to cure him making the sacrifice of controlling yourselves
when he does anything wrong? Do you not want to help Me to save him? He is your
brother in spirit as he comes from one sole Father, by race as he comes from one
sole people, by mission as he is an apostle like you. So you ought to love him
three times. If in your family you had a brother who grieved your father
and
exposed himself to censure, would you not try to correct him so that your father
suffered no longer and no one spoke ill of your family? So? Is your family not a
greater and holier one as its Father is God and I am the First‑born? Why, then,
do you not want to console the Father and Me and help us to improve the poor
brother who, believe Me, is not happy to be so?...»
Jesus
is anxiously imploring on behalf of the apostle who is so full of faults... And
He concludes: «I am the Great Beggar and I ask you for the most valuable alms: I
ask you to give Me souls. I go about looking for them, but you must help Me...
Satisfy the hunger of My Heart, which seeks love and finds it only in too few
people. Because those who do not aim at perfection are like as many loaves of
bread of which My spiritual hunger is deprived. Give souls to your Master Who is
distressed at not being loved and understood...»
The
apostles are moved... They would like to say so many things, but every word
seems too mean... They press round the Master, each one wishing to caress Him,
to make Him feel that they all love Him.
At
last it is meek Andrew who says: «Yes, Lord. With patience, silence and
sacrifice, the powerful means of conversion, we will give You souls. Also that
one... if God helps us...»
«Yes,
Lord. And You help us with Your prayer.»
«Yes,
friends. And in the meantime let us pray together for your companion who has
gone away. "Our Father Who art in Heaven …"»
Jesus'
perfect voice repeats the words of the Our Father pronouncing them distinctly
and slowly. The others chorus in a subdued tone. And while praying they move
away in the night.
422. Martyrdom for Love Is
Absolution.
27th April
1946.
From
the tops of the last risings of the ground, which cannot be called hills, as
their height is so minimal, a large stretch of the Mediterranean coast appears;
it is limited to the north by the Carmel promontory, while to the south it
stretches freely as far as human eyes can see. A placid almost straight coast
with behind it a fertile plain interrupted by slight undulations of the ground.
Coast‑towns are visible with their white houses situated between the green of
the country and the blue of the sea, which is placid and serene, a bright blue
reflecting the pure azure of the sky.
Caesarea
is a little to the north of the place where the apostles are with Jesus and with
some disciples, whom they probably met in the villages they passed through in
the evening or at dawn. It is now later than daybreak and dawn, although it is
very early in the morning. In those beautiful hours of summer mornings, when the
sky, after rosy dawn becomes again blue, the air is fresh and clear and fresh is
the country. No sail appears on the sea. They are the pure hours of the day,
when fresh flowers begin to open and the dew, drying in the early sun, exhales
the sweet smells of herbs, bestowing freshness and perfume on the light breath
of the morning breeze, which moves the leaves on stems just lightly and barely
ripples the smooth expanse of the sea.
The town appears stretched along the shore, as beautiful as every place where Roman refinement has settled. Thermal baths and marble buildings exhibit their whiteness like solid blocks of snow in the districts closer to the sea, overlooked by a tall white square tower near the harbour: perhaps a Castrum or a look‑out post. Then there are the more modest little suburban houses, in Jewish style, and everywhere there are green pergole, roofgardens built more or less splendidly on the flat roofs of houses, and tall trees growing everywhere.
The
apostles admire the view resting in the shade of a group of plane‑trees almost
on the top of the hill.
«The
sight of this immensity lightens one's heart! » exclaims
Philip.
«And
you seem to be already feeling all the coolness of those beautiful blue waters »
says Peter.
«True!
After so much dust, stones, thorns... look what a marvel! How fresh and
peaceful! The sea always brings peace...» remarks James of
Alphaeus.
«H'm!
Except when... it slaps your face and whirls you and the boat round like tops in
the hands of boys...» replies Matthew who probably remembers being
seasick.
«Master...
I think... I think of all the words of our psalmists, of the book of Job, of the
words of the wisdom books, where the power of God is celebrated. And, I do not
know why, the thoughts coming from what I see make me feel that we shall be
elevated to perfect beauty on a blue bright purity thus, if we are just until
the end in the great gathering, in Your eternal Triumph, the one which You
described to us and which will be the end of Evil... And I seem to be seeing
this azure immensity peopled with bright risen bodies and You, shining more than
a thousand suns, in the middle of the blessed souls... and no more sorrow,
tears, insults, disparagement like yesterday evening's... and peace, peace,
peace... But when will Evil stop being harmful? Will it perhaps blunt its arrows
against Your Sacrifice? Will it be convinced that it has been beaten? » asks
John, who at first was smiling and now is depressed.
«Never.
It will always think that it is triumphant, notwithstanding all the
contradictions of the just. And My Sacrifice will not blunt its arrows. But the
hour will come, the final hour, when Evil will be defeated, and in a beauty even more infinite than that
foreseen by your spirit, the chosen ones will be the only People, the eternal,
holy true People of the true God.»
«And
shall we all be there? » ask the apostles.
«Yes,
all.»
«And
what about us? » ask the already large group of the
disciples.
«You
will all be there, too.»
«All
the ones present or all those who are Your disciples? We are many now,
notwithstanding those who parted from us.»
«And
you will be more and more. But not everyone will be faithful until the end. But
many will be with Me in Paradise. Some will have their reward after expiation,
some immediately after their death, but the reward will be such that, as you
forget the Earth and its sorrows, so you will forget Purgatory with its
penitential longing for love.»
«Master,
You told us that we will suffer persecutions and martyrdom. They may capture and
kill us before we have time to repent, or our weakness will prevent us from
being resigned to violent death... So? » asks Nicolaus of Antioch. who is among
the disciples.
«Do
not believe that. Owing to your human weakness you could not suffer martyrdom
with resignation. But supernatural assistance will be instilled by the Lord into
the great spirits who must bear witness to the Lord...»
«Which?
Insensibility, perhaps? »
«No,
Nicolaus. Perfect love. They will achieve such complete love that torture,
accusations, separations from relatives, from life, from everything, will no
longer be depressing matters, on the contrary they will become the base to rise
to Heaven, to receive it, to see it and therefore to stretch arms and hearts
towards tortures, in order to go where their hearts already are: to
Heaven.»
«One
who dies thus will be much forgiven » says an old disciple whose name I do not
know.
«Not
much, but completely forgiven,
Papias. Because love is absolution, and sacrifice is absolution, and heroic
confession of faith is absolution. You can thus see that martyrs will have
treble purification.»
«Oh!
then... I have sinned much, Master, and I have followed these disciples to be
forgiven, and yesterday You forgave me and because of that You were insulted by
those who do not forgive and are guilty. I think that Your forgiveness is valid.
But for my long years of sin give me the absolution of
martyrdom.»
«You
are asking for a great deal, man! »
«Not
as much as I have to give to have the beatitude which John of Zebedee has
described and You have confirmed. I implore You, Lord. Let me die for You, for
Your doctrine...»
«You are asking for very much, man! The life of man is in the hands of My Father...»
«But
every prayer of Yours is heard, as every judgement of Yours is heard. Ask the
Eternal Father that forgiveness for me...»
The
man is on his knees at the feet of Jesus, Who looks him in the eye and then
says: «And do you not think that it is martyrdom to live when the world has lost
all attraction and the heart yearns for Heaven, and to live to teach other
people to love and to become acquainted with the disappointments of the Master
and to persevere tirelessly to give souls to the Master? Always do the will of
God, even if your own should appear to you to be more heroic, and you will be
holy... But here are your companions coming with supplies. Let us set out to
arrive in town before the torrid hours.»
And
He sets out first down the light descent that soon arrives at the plain marked
by the white ribbon of the road leading to Caesarea on the
Sea.
423.
At
Caesarea on the Sea. Parable of the Father Who Gives Each of
His
Children the Same Amount of Money.
30th April
1946.
Caesarea
has large markets where fine victuals pour in for the refined Roman tables, and
near the market squares where, in a kaleidoscope of faces, colours and races,
more common foodstuffs can be found, there are stores with richer delicacies,
imported both from the various Roman colonies and from remote Italy, to make the
separation from the Fatherland less painful. And stores selling wines and
delicatessen imported from abroad are in deep porches, because the Romans do not
like being burned by the sun or drenched by rain while purchasing refined
foodstuffs for their banquets. While satisfying their gluttony like Epicureans,
they do not neglect the other parts of their bodies... thus cool shady porches
and arches protecting from the rain lead from the Roman district ‑ which is
almost entirely grouped around the building of the Proconsul, between the coast
road and the square of barracks and tollhouse ‑ to the Roman stores near the
Jewish markets.
There
are many people under these porches, the end part of which near the markets is
comfortable if not beautiful, There are people of all races. There are slaves
and freedmen and an occasional pleasure‑loving gentleman surrounded by slaves,
passing listlessly from one shop to another, after leaving his litter in the
street, and doing his shopping which the slaves take to his house. And when two
Roman gentlemen meet, one can hear the usual idle talk: the weather, the tedium
of the town which does not offer the pleasures of remote Italy, regret for great
performances, plans for banquets and licentious speech.
A Roman, preceded by about a dozen slaves laden with bags and parcels, meets two friends. Reciprocal greetings: «Hail, Ennius! »
«Hail,
Florus Tullius Cornelius! Hail, Marcus Heracleus Flavius!
»
«When
did you come back? »
«The
day before yesterday, at dawn, exhausted.»
«You,
exhausted? You are never in a sweat! » the young man named Florus says teasing
playfully.
«Don't
jeer at me, Florus Tullius Cornelius. I am drudging even now on behalf of my
friends! »
«Your
friends? We did not ask you to drudge » objects the elder friend, named Marcus
Heracleus Flavius.
«But
my love thinks of you. You cruel people who sneer at me, see this procession of
slaves laden with goods? Others have gone before them with other goods. And it's
all to honour you.»
«So
this is your work? A banquet? »
«Why?
» shout the two friends loudly.
«Sh!
Noble patricians making such a terrible din! You sound like the plebeans of this
country where we are wearing ourselves out in...»
«Orgies
and idleness. Because we do nothing else. I am still asking myself: why are we
here? What tasks have we got? »
«To
be bored to death is one.»
«To
teach the hired female mourners here how to live is another.
»
«And...
to sow Rome in the sacred pelvises of Jewish women is another one.»
«And
to enjoy, here as anywhere else, our wealth and power, to which everything is
allowed, is a further one.»
The
three alternate as in a litany and laugh. But young Florus suddenly stops and
becomes gloomy and he says: «But for some time a fog has been hanging over the
merry Court of Pilate. The most beautiful women look like chaste vestals and
their husbands comply with their whims. And that spoils the habitual feasts a
great deal...»
«Of
course! The caprice for that coarse Galilean... But it will soon be
over...»
«You
are wrong, Ennius. I know that Claudia also is conquered by Him and thus... good
morals have strangely installed themselves in her palace. Roman republican
austerity seems to be revived there...»
«Alas!
What a mouldy smell! Since when? »
«Since
sweet April, suitable for love affairs. You don't know... You were not here. But
our ladies came back as sad as the mourners of cinerary urns and we poor men
have to look elsewhere for many of our amusements. Which we are not even allowed
in the presence of the modest ladies! »
«One
reason more why I should help you. A great dinner this evening... and a greater
orgy in my house. I was at Cyntium and I found delightful things which these
stinkers consider impure: peacocks, partridges, and all kinds of moorhens, and
little wild boars removed alive from their mother, which had been killed, and
bred for our dinners. And wines... Ah! sweet, precious wines of the Roman hills,
of my warm shores near Liternum and of your sunny coast near Aciri!... And
sweet‑smelling wines from Chios, of which Cintium is the pearl. And inebriating
wines from Iberia, suitable to excite senses for the final enjoyment. Oh! It
must be a great feast, to dispel the tedium of our exile and to convince
ourselves that we are still virile!...»
«Will
there be women as well? »
«Of
course... And more beautiful than roses. Of every colour and... taste. I spent a
treasure for all the goods, including the women... But I am generous to my
friends!... I was just finishing my shopping here. What might have gone bad
during the journey. After the banquet, let us have
love!...»
«Did
you have a good voyage? »
«Very
good. Aphrodite Anadyomene was friendly to me. In any case I am dedicating
tonight's rite to her...»
The
three men laugh grossly anticipating the on‑coming shameful
pleasures...
But
Florus asks: «But why this exceptional feast? What's the reason for
it?...»
«Three
reasons: my beloved nephew in the next few days will begin to wear his toga
virilis. I must celebrate the event. Obedience to the foreboding that Caesarea
was changing into a distressing abode and that it was necessary to discredit
fate by means of a rite to Venus. The third reason... I will whisper it to you:
I am invited to a wedding...»
«You?
Liar! »
«I am invited to a wedding. It is a "wedding" every time one relishes the first sip from a sealed amphora. And I am doing that this evening. Twenty thousand sesterces, or if you prefer so, two hundred gold pieces I paid for her, because in actual fact that is what I had to give for her, including brokers and the like. But even if Venus had given birth to her at dawn in April, and had made her with foam and golden beams, I would not have found her more beautiful and pure! A bud, a closed but... Ah! And I am her master! »
«Profaner!
» says Marcus Heracleus
jokingly.
«Do not play the censor, for you are my equal... After Valerian left, we were bored to death here. But I am replacing him... We must take advantage of the experience of our forefathers. But I will not be so foolish to wait, as he did, for the girl, who is fairer than honey and whom I have called Galla Ciprina, to be spoiled by the sadness and the theories of emasculated philosophers who do not know how to enjoy the pleasures of life...»
«Bravo!!!
But... Valerian's slave was a learned woman and...»
«...
and became mad reading philosophers... Soul!... second life!... virtue!!!... a
lot of nonsense!... To live is to enjoy oneself! And we live here. Yesterday I
burned every mournful scroll and I ordered the slaves, under pain of death, not
to remember the miseries of philosophers and of Galileans. And the girl will
know me only...»
«But
where did you find her? »
«Well!
Somebody was very shrewd and bought slaves after the Gallic wars and used them
only as reproducers, treating them well, obliging them only to procreate, to
give fresh flowers of beauty... And Galla is one of them. She is now pubescent
and her master sold her... and I bought her... ah! ah! ah!
»
«You
lustful!...»
«If
it had not been me, it would have been somebody else... So... She should not
have been born a girl...»
«If
He heard you... Oh! Here He is! »
«Who?
»
«The
Nazarene Who cast a spell on our ladies. He is behind
you...»
Ennius
turns round as if he had an asp behind him. He looks at Jesus Who is coming
forward slowly among the people pressing round Him, the poor common people and
some Roman slaves as well, and he contemptuously says: «That ragamuffin?! Women
are depraved. But let us run away, lest He should cast a spell on us as well! »
Then addressing his poor slaves, who have been standing all the time with their
loads, like caryatids for whom there is no mercy, he orders: «Go home quickly,
because you have been wasting your time so far, and those who are making
preparations are waiting for spices and perfumes. Run! Quick! And remember that
you will be scourged if everything is not ready by sunset.»
The
slaves go away at a run and the Roman follows them slowly with his two
friends...
Jesus
advances. He is sad, because He heard the end of Ennius' conversation and from
the height of His stature He looks with infinite compassion at the slaves
running under their burdens. He turns round, looking for the faces of more Roman
slaves... He sees some, trembling with fear of being caught by superintendents
or being driven away by the Jews, mixed among the crowds surrounding Him. He
stops and asks: «Is there anyone among you belonging to that household?
»
«No,
Lord. But we know them » reply the slaves present.
«Matthew,
give them abundant offerings. They will share them with their companions, so
that they may know that there is
someone who loves them. And remember, and tell the others that sorrow comes to
an end with life only for those who were good and honest in their chains, and
with sorrow ends also the difference between rich and poor, between free people
and slaves. Afterwards there is only one just God for everybody, Who, without
taking into account wealth or chains, will reward the good and punish the
wicked. Bear that in mind.»
«Yes,
Lord. But we, who belong to the households of Claudia and Plautina, are quite
happy, like those who belong to Livia and Valeria, and we bless You because You
have improved our lot » says an old man to whom everyone listens as if he were
their chief.
«To
show Me your gratitude be always good and you will have the true God as your
eternal Friend.»
And
Jesus raises His hand as if to dismiss and bless them and He then leans against
a column and begins to speak in the attentive silence of the crowd. The slaves
do not go away, they remain listening to the words uttered by the divine
lips.
«Listen.
A father of many children gave each of them, when they became adults, two coins
of great value and said to them: "I no longer intend to work for each of you.
You are now old enough to earn your living. So I am giving each of you the same
amount of money, so that you may invest it as you please and to your own profit.
I will remain here waiting, ready to advise you and also to assist you, if
through misfortune you should lose all or part of the money that I am now giving
you. But remember that I will be inexorable towards those who squander it
mischievously, and towards sluggards who waste it or leave it as it is through
idleness or vices. I have taught each of you Good and Evil. You cannot therefore
say that you are facing life without knowing what life is. I have set for
everyone an example of wise, just activity and of honest life. So you cannot say
that I have contaminated your spirits through my evil examples. I have done my
duty. It is for you now to do yours, as you are neither stupid, nor unprepared,
nor illiterate. Go" and he dismissed them and remained alone, waiting, in his
house.
His
sons scattered through the world. They all had the same things: two valuable
coins of which they could dispose freely, and a greater treasure of health,
energy, knowledge and their father's examples. So they should have all been
successful in the same way. But what happened? Some of the sons employed their
money wisely and by means of untiring honest work and a simple honest life, in
accordance with their father's teaching, they soon owned a large honest
treasure; some at first made an honest fortune, but later they squandered it
through idleness and orgies; some made money practising usury or dealing in
contemptible business; and some did nothing because they were inactive, lazy, undecided and
they finished their valuable coins before they could find any
employment.
After some time the father of the family sent servants wherever he knew that his sons were and said to the servants: "You will tell my sons to meet in my house. I want them to give me an account of what they have done during this time and I wish to ascertain myself what is their situation". And the servants went everywhere, they met the children of their master, they gave the message and each of them went back with the master's son whom they had met.
The
father received them with great solemnity, as a father, but also as a judge. And
all the relatives of the family were present with friends, acquaintances,
servants, fellow‑villagers and people from neighbouring villages. A solemn
meeting. The father was on his seat of head of the family, and around him, in a
semicircle there were all the relatives, friends, acquaintances, servants,
fellow‑villagers and people from the neighbourhood. In front of him, in a line,
his sons. Even without being questioned, their different countenances expressed
the truth. Those who had been active, honest, of good morals and had made a holy
fortune looked prosperous, peaceful and well‑off, like people who are wealthy,
enjoy good health and a clear conscience. They looked at their father with a
kind, grateful, humble but at the same time triumphant smile; they were shining
with joy having honoured their father and family and because they had been good
children, good citizens and faithful believers. Those who had squandered their
assets in laziness or vices were mortified, low‑spirited, haggard-faced and
shabby, with the signs of orgies or starvation clearly visible. Those who had
made a fortune by contemptible means had an aggressive hard countenance, with
the cruel upset look of beasts which are afraid of the tamer and are prepared to
react...
The
father began to question these last ones: "How come you who looked so serene
when you left, now look like beasts ready to tear people to pieces? Where did
you get that mien?".
"Life
gave it to us. And your severity in sending us away from home. You put us in
touch with the world".
"All
right. And what did you do in the world?".
"What
was possible for us to obey your orders to earn a living with the mere nothing
you gave us".
"All
right. Stand in that corner... And now it is your turn, you emaciated, sick
looking and shabby people. What did you do to come to this state? You were
healthy and well dressed when you left".
"Clothes
wear out in ten years..." objected the sluggards.
"So
there are no more looms in the world to make cloth for men's
garments?".
"Yes...
But one needs money to buy it...".
"You
had it".
"In
ten years... it is more than finished. Everything which has a beginning comes to
an end".
"Yes,
if you take from it and never put anything back into it. But why have you only
taken from it? If you had worked, you could have added to it and taken from it
and the money would not have come to an end, on the contrary you could have
increased it. Have you been ill, perhaps?".
"No,
father".
"Well,
then?".
"We
felt lost... We did not know what to do, what was right... We were afraid of
doing the wrong thing. And not to do wrong, we did not do
anything".
"And
had you no father to whom you could apply for advice? Have I ever been an
uncompromising frightening father?".
"Oh!
no! But we were ashamed of having to say to you: 'We are not capable of taking
the initiative'. You have always been so active... We hid ourselves out of
shame".
"All
right. Stand in the middle of the room. It's your turn now! What are you going
to tell me? From your outward looks you seem to have suffered not only hunger
but also from illness. Were you perhaps taken ill because you had worked too
hard? Be frank and I will not reproach you".
Some
of the children who were questioned threw themselves on their knees striking
their breasts and saying: "Forgive us, father' God has already punished us and
we deserved it. But you, who are our father, forgive us!... We began well, but
we did not persevere. As we had become wealthy so easily we said: 'Well, let us
enjoy ourselves a little, as our friends suggest, then we will go back to work
and make up for it'. And we really wanted to do so: go back to the two coins and
make them yield again, as if it were a game. And twice (say two), three times
(says one) we were successful. Then our good luck abandoned us... and we
finished all our money".
"But
why did you not return to reason after the first time?".
"Because
the bread spiced with vice corrupts the palate, and one can no longer do without
it...".
"There
was your father...".
"True.
And we longed for you with regret and homesickness. But we offended you... We
implored Heaven to inspire you to send for us, so that we might receive your
reproach and your forgiveness; that is what we wanted and are now asking
for, more than riches which we do not want any more because they led us
astray".
"All
right. Stand in the middle of the room beside those who were questioned before
you. And you who are sick and poor like those, but are silent and show no sign of
grief, what are you going to say?".
"What the first ones said. That we hate you, because your unwise way of doing things has been the cause of our ruin. Since you knew us, you should not have exposed us to temptations. You hated us and we hate you. You set that trap for us to get rid of us. May you be cursed".
"Very
well. Stay with the first ones in that corner. And now it is your turn, my
prosperous, serene, wealthy sons. Tell me. How did you do so
well?".
"By
carrying out your teaching, your examples, advice, orders, everything. We
resisted temptations, out of love for you, blessed father who gave us life and
wisdom".
"Very
well. Come to my right hand side and listen all of you to my judgement and to my
defence. I gave each of you the same money, examples and wisdom. My sons have
reacted in different manners. From a hard working, honest moderate father
different children have come forth: some are like him, some are lazy, some an
easy prey to temptations, and some so cruel that they hate their father, their
brothers and neighbours, on whom, even if they do not say so, but I know, they
have practised usury and committed crimes. And among the weak and lazy ones
there are some who are penitent and some impenitent. This is my judgement. The
perfect ones are already on my right hand side, equal to me in glory and in
deeds; those who are repentant, like children to be educated, will come once
again under my authority until they reach a degree of capability which will
prove that they are adults again; the unrepentant and guilty ones will be driven
out of my property and will be persecuted by the malediction of him who is no
longer their father, because their hatred for me annuls our relationship of
father and son. But I wish to remind you all that each son has been the author
of his own fate, because I gave everybody the same things, which, however, have
brought about four different situations in those who received them and I cannot
be accused of desiring their evil lot".
The
parable is over and I will now explain it to you who have listened to
it.
The
Father in Heaven is symbolised by the father of the large family. The two coins
given by the father to each of his children before sending them into the world
are: time and free will, that God grants to every man to be used as he wishes,
after being taught and perfected by the Law and the examples of just people.
Everyone receives the same gifts. But every man makes use of them as he wishes.
Some treasure up time, means, education, wealth, everything, for a good purpose
and remain holy and sound, the owners of increased riches. Some begin well, then
become tired and lose everything. Some do nothing as they expect other people to
do it. Some accuse the Father of their mistakes; some repent and are willing to
make amends; some do not repent and they accuse and curse as if their ruin has
been brought about by other people. And God grants rewards to the just at once;
He grants mercy to those who repent and time to expiate, so that they may
achieve a reward through repentance and expiation; and He gives malediction and
punishment to those who trample on love through impenitence, the consequence of
their sins. He gives every man what is due to him.
So
do not waste the two coins: time and free will, but make the right use of them
to be on the right hand side of the Father, and if you fail, repent and have
faith in Merciful Love. Go. Peace be with you! »
He
blesses them and looks at them moving away in the sun flooding the square and
streets. But the slaves are still there...
«Are
you still here, My poor friends? Will you not be punished?
»
«No,
Lord, if we say that we have been listening to You. Our mistresses venerate You.
Where are You going now, Lord? They have been wishing to see You for such a long
time...»
«To
the rope‑maker near the harbour. But I am leaving this evening, and your
mistresses will be at the party...»
«We
shall tell them just the same. Months ago they told us to inform them every time
You come here.»
«All
right. Go. And make good use of your time and thoughts, which are always free,
even if a man is in chains.»
The
slaves bend to the ground and go away towards the Roman quarters. Jesus and His
apostles go towards the harbour, along a narrow street.
424.At
Caesarea on the Sea. The Roman Ladies and the Slave Galla
Ciprina.
1st
May 1946.
Jesus
is a guest of the rope‑maker's humble family. Their house is low, with a saltish
smell, close as it is to sea water. At the rear there are some smelly
storehouses where goods are unloaded before they are collected by the various
buyers. At the front there is a dusty road, furrowed by heavy wheels, very noisy
because dockers, urchins, carters and seamen come and go incessantly. Beyond the
street there is a little dockyard with dirty water soiled by the rubble thrown
into it, and by its own stagnation. From the dockyard a canal flows into the
actual port, capable of taking large ships. On the western side there is a large
sandy square where ropes are made with squeaky twisting winches worked by hand.
On the eastern side there is another little square, much smaller but more noisy
and untidy, where men and women are patching up nets and sails. And beyond lie
low hovels with a saltish smell, crowded with half‑naked
children.
One certainly cannot say that Jesus has chosen a magnificent abode. Flies, dust, bustle, the smell of stagnant water, the stink of hemp steeped before being used, reign there. And the King of kings, lying with His apostles on heaps of coarse hemp, tired as He is, falls asleep in that poor environment, partly a lumber‑room, partly a storeroom, which is at the rear of the little house and from which, through a door as black as tar, one can enter the kitchen, which is also black, and through a worm‑eaten door, corroded by dust and salt, so that it looks whitish‑grey like pumice‑stone, one comes out into the square where ropes are being made and from which comes the stench of steeped hemp.
The
sun is blazing down on the square notwithstanding that there are four huge
plane‑trees, two at each end of the rectangular square, under which are the
winches to twist the hemp. I do not know whether I am giving the implement the
right name. The men, wearing tunics reduced to the bare essential for decency,
running with sweat as if they were under a shower, keep turning their winches
with continuous motion, as if they were galley‑slaves... They speak only to say
the words indispensable to their work. Thus, without the squeaking of the winch
wheels, and the creaking of the hemp stretched in twisting, there is no other
noise in the square, a strange contrast with the din in the other places around
the house of the rope‑maker.
Thus
the exclamation of one of the workers is most surprising as it is uttered
unexpectedly: «What? Women? At this awful time of the day?! Look! They are
coming here...»
«They
may be in need of ropes to tie their husbands...» says a young rope‑maker
jokingly.
«They
may need some hemp for some work.»
«H'm!
It's unlikely that they need ours, which is so coarse, when they can get it
combed!? »
«Ours
is cheaper. See? They are poor...»
«But
they are not Jewesses. See, their mantles are
different...»
«Perhaps
they are not Jewesses. There are all races in Caesarea
now...»
«Perhaps
they are looking for the Rabbi. They may be ill... See how they are all covered,
even in this heat... »
«Provided
they are not lepers... Poverty, yes, but leprosy, no; I do not want it, not even
to be resigned to God » says the rope‑maker whom everybody
obeys.
«But
did you not hear the Master?: "We must accept everything God sends
us".»
«But
leprosy is not sent by God. It is sent by sins, vices,
contagion...»
The women are now behind them, not behind those who are speaking and are at the very end of the square, but behind those who are on the side near the house, thus the first to be met, and one of them bends to say something to one of the rope‑makers, who turns round astonished and remains like a blockhead.
«Let
us go and listen to them... Covered like that... With all the children I have,
leprosy would be the last straw!...» says the owner who has stopped turning his
winch and goes towards the women. His companions follow
him...
«Simon,
this woman wants something, but she speaks a foreign language. Since you have
travelled, listen to her » says the man to whom the woman had
spoken.
«What
do you want? » asks the rope‑maker rudely, trying to see her through the dark
dyed byssus which covers her face.
And
in the purest Greek the woman replies: «The King of Israel. The
Master.»
«Ah!
I see. But... are you lepers? »
«No.»
«Who
can assure me? »
«He
can. Ask Him.»
The
man hesitates... He then says: «Well. I will make an act of faith and God will
protect me... I am going to call Him. Stay where you are.»
The
four women do not move, a greyish silent group, looked at with amazement and
evident fear by the rope‑makers, who have gathered together a few steps
apart.
The
man goes into the storeroom and touches Jesus Who is sleeping. «Master... Come
out. They are looking for. You.»
Jesus
wakes and gets up immediately asking: «Who? »
«Who
knows!... Some Greek women... they are all covered... They say that they are not
lepers and that You can assure me...»
«I
will come at once » says Jesus tying His sandals which He had taken off, and
buttoning the top part of His tunic near His neck, and putting on the belt which
He had taken off to be more free in His sleep. And He goes out with the
rope‑maker.
The
women make the gesture of starting towards them. «Stay where you are, I tell
you! I do not want you to walk where my children are playing... I want Him to
say first that you are healthy.» The women stop.
Jesus
joins them. The tallest one, not the one who previously spoke Greek, says a word
in a low voice. Jesus addresses the ropemaker: «Simon, you need not worry. The
women are healthy and I have to listen to them in peace. May I go into the
house?...»
«No.
The old woman is there and she is more curious and chatty than a magpie. Go over
there, to the end, under the shed of the vats. There is also a little room. You
will be alone there and in peace.»
«Come...»
says Jesus to the women. And He goes with them to the end of the square, under
the unsavoury shed, into the little room as narrow as a cell, where there are
broken tools, rags, refuse hemp, huge cobwebs, and where the smell of
macerating‑vats and mould is so strong as to catch their throats. Jesus, Who is
very grave and pale, smiles lightly saying: «It is not a place in accord with
your tastes... But I have nothing else...»
«We
do not see the place, because we see Him Who lives in it just now » replies
Plautina removing her veil and mantle, imitated by the other ladies, who are
Lydia, Valeria and Albula Domitilla, a freedwoman.
«From
which I infer that after all you still believe that I am a just
man.»
«More
than a just man. And Claudia has sent us precisely because she believes that You
are more than just and she does not take into consideration the words she heard.
But she wishes to have Your confirmation to double her veneration for
You.»
«Or
to deprive Me of it, should I appear as they tried to picture Me. But you can
assure her. I have no human ambitions. My ministry and My desire are only and
entirely supernatural. I do want to gather all men into one only kingdom. But
what part of men? Their flesh and blood? No. I leave that, a fleeting matter, to
fleeting monarchies, to unsteady empires. I want to gather under My sceptre only
the spirits of men, immortal spirits in an immortal kingdom. I reject all other
accounts of My will, irrespectively of whoever gave them, if they differ from
that one. And I beg you to believe and to tell her who sent you, that the Truth
has but one word...»
«Your
apostle was so sure of himself when he told us...»
«He
is an overexcited youngster. He is to be listened to as
such...»
«But
he is detrimental to You! Reproach him... Send him
away...»
«And
what about My mercy? He acts through mistaken love. So must I not pity him? And
what would change if I sent him away? He would do double harm to himself and to
Me.»
«So
he is like a cannon‑ball tied to Your foot!...»
«He
is a poor wretch to be redeemed...»
Plautina
falls on her knees stretching out her arms and saying: «Ah! Master, greater than
anybody else, how easy it is to believe that You are holy when one feels Your
heart in Your words! How easy it is to love and follow You because of Your
charity, which is even greater than Your intelligence! »
«Not
greater. But more understandable for you... whose intellects are hampered by too
many errors and you are not generous in clearing them to receive the
Truth.»
«You
are right. Your divination is as great as Your wisdom.»
«As
wisdom is a form of holiness it gives enlightenment of judgement, both on past
or present events, and on forewarning of future ones.»
«So
your prophets...»
«Were
holy. God therefore communicated with them in great
fullness.»
«Were
they holy because they belonged to Israel? »
«They
were holy because they belonged to Israel and because they were just in their
actions. Because not all Israel is or was holy, although they belonged to
Israel. The fact that one belongs by chance to a people or to a religion cannot
make one holy. Those two conditions can be of great assistance to be so, but
they are not the essential factors of holiness.»
«Which
is then the factor? »
«The
will of man. The will that leads the actions of man to holiness if it is good,
to wickedness if it is bad.»
«Then...
it is not fair to say that just people cannot be found also among
us.»
«Certainly
not. Nay, some just people were certainly among your ancestors, and there are
certainly some among those who are living now. Because it would be too dreadful
if the whole heathen world were made of demons. Those among you who feel
attraction to Good and Truth and repulsion to Vice, and shun evil deeds as
disgracing man, believe Me, they are already on the path of
justice.»
«Claudia
then...»
«Yes.
And you as well. Persevere.»
«But
if we should die before being... converted to You?... Of what use would it be to
have been virtuous?...»
«God
is just in judging. But why hesitate to come to the true God?
»
The
three ladies lower their heads... Silence... Then the great confession, the one
which explains so many cruelties and so much resistance of the Romans against
Christianity... «Because, by doing so, we would appear to be betraying our
Fatherland...»
«On
the contrary you would serve your Fatherland, making it morally and spiritually
greater, strengthened by the possession and protection of God, in addition to
its armies and riches. Rome, the City of the world, the City of the universal
Religion!... Just think of that...»
There
is silence...
Then
Livia, blushing like a peony, says: «Master, some time ago we were seeking
information on You also in the pages of our Virgil. Because, as far as we are
concerned, prophecies in no way connected with any of the beliefs of Israel are
of greater value to us than those of your prophets, as we feel that the latter
are influenced by millenary beliefs... And we discussed the matter... comparing
those who presaged You in all times, nations and religions. But no one presaged
You so justly as our Virgil... How much we spoke on that day with Diomed also,
the Greek freedman, an astrologer dear to Claudia! He maintained that that
happened because the time was nearer and the stars spoke with their
conjunctions... And in support of his thesis he put forward the fact of the
three Wise men from the three Eastern countries, who had come to worship You,
still a baby, causing the massacre, which struck Rome with horror... But we were
not persuaded because... for over fifty years none of the wise people in the
world spoke of You explaining the voices of the stars, although we are even
closer to Your present revelation. Claudia exclaimed: "We would need the Master!
He would speak the truth and we would know the place and the immortal destiny of
our greatest poet!". Would You tell us... for Claudia... A gift to prove that
she is not disliked by You because of her doubt about
You...»
«I
understood her reaction of a Roman and I have had no grudge against her. You may
reassure her. And listen. Virgil was not great only as a poet, was he?
»
«Oh!
no! Also as a man. In the midst of a society already corrupt and vicious he
shone with spiritual purity. No one knew him to be lewd, fond of orgies and
debauchery. His writings are chaste, but even chaster was his heart. So much so
that where he lived mostly, he was called the "little virgin" with mockery by
vicious people, with respect by good people.»
«So,
could God not be reflected in the limpid soul of a chaste man, even if that man
was a heathen? Will perfect Virtue not have loved the virtuous man? And if he
was granted love and the sight of Truth because of the pure beauty of his soul,
could he not have had a flash of prophecy? As prophecy is nothing but the truth
which is revealed to those who deserve to know the Truth as a reward and a spur
to greater and greater virtue? »
«So...
he did prophesy You? »
«His
mind inflamed with purity and genius was elevated to the knowledge of a page
concerning Me, and he can be called the just heathen poet, a pre‑Christian
prophetic spirit as a reward to his virtues.»
«Oh!
Our Virgil!! And will he be rewarded? »
«I
said: "God is just". But do not imitate the poet stopping at his limit. Go on,
because the Truth did not reveal itself to you by intuition and partly, but
completely and it spoke to you.»
«Thank
You, Master... We are going away. Claudia told us to ask You if she can be
useful to You in moral matters » says Plautina without replying to Jesus'
remark.
«And
she told you to ask Me, if I was not an usurper...»
«Oh!
Master! How do You know? »
«I
am more than Virgil and the prophets...»
«It
is true! It is all true! Can we serve You?...»
«For
Myself I need but faith and love. But there is a creature who is in great danger
and whose soul will be killed this evening. Claudia could save
her.»
«Here?
Who? Soul killed? »
«One
of your patricians is giving a dinner‑party and...»
«Ah!
Yes! Ennius Cassius. My husband also is invited...» says
Livia.
«And mine... And we, too, really. But as Claudia is not going, we will not go either. We had decided to withdraw immediately after dinner, in the event we had gone... Because... o