151. In Susanna's House in Cana. The Royal
Officer.
1st May
1945.
Jesus
is possibly going towards the lake. He certainly arrives at Cana and directs His
steps towards Susanna's house. His cousins are with Him. While they are in the
house and they rest and take some food, Jesus, to Whom His relatives and friends
are listening as they should always do, teaches those good people in a very
simple way. He also comforts the husband of Susanna, who appears to be ill. She
is in fact absent and while I hear them talk continuously of how much she
suffers, a well dressed man enters and prostrates himself at Jesus'
feet.
«Who
are you? What do you want? »
While
the man is still sighing and weeping, the landlord pulls Jesus by the hem of His
tunic and whispers: «He is an officer of the Tetrarch. Don't trust him too
much.»
«Speak
up. What do you want from Me? »
«Master,
I heard that You are back. I have been waiting for You as one waits for God.
Come to Capernaum at once. My son is so ill that his hours are numbered. I saw
John, Your disciple. He told me that You were coming here. Come, please come at
once, before it is too late.»
«What?
Can You, a servant of the persecutor of the Holy One in Israel, believe in Me?
You do not believe in the Precursor of the Messiah. So, how can you believe in
the Messiah? »
«That
is true. We are guilty of incredulity and of cruelty. But have mercy on a
father! I know Chuza. I have seen Johanna. I have seen her before and after the
miracle. And I believed in You.»
«Quite!
You are such an incredulous and wicked generation that you will not believe
without signs and miracles. You lack the essential quality that is necessary to
obtain a miracle.»
«It
is true. It is all very true. But You can see... I believe in You now and I beg
You: come to Capernaum at once! I will have a boat ready for You at Tiberias, so
that You may come quicker. But please come before my child dies! » and he weeps
desolately.
«I
am not coming just now. But go to Capernaum. Your son is cured as from this
moment and he will live.»
«May
God bless You, my Lord. I believe You. But as I want all my household to welcome
You when You come to Capernaum, come to my house.»
«I
will come. Goodbye. Peace be with you.»
The
man rushes out and soon after the trot of a horse can be
heard.
«But
is the boy really cured? » asks Susanna's husband.
«Is
it possible for you to think that I tell lies? »
«No,
my Lord. But You are here and the boy is there.»
«There
is no barrier, no distance for My spirit.»
«Well,
then, my Lord. You changed water into wine at my wedding, please change my tears
into happy smiles. Cure my Susanna.»
«What
will you give Me in exchange for that? »
«The
amount of money You want.»
«I
will not stain what is holy with Mammon's blood. I am asking your spirit what it
will give Me.»
«Myself,
if You wish so.»
«And
if I asked, without any words, a great sacrifice? »
«My
Lord, I ask You to grant physical health to my wife and the sanctification of us
all. I don't think I can say that anything is too much to have
that...»
«You
are suffering agonies because of your wife. But if I restored her to health and
I got her to become My disciple for ever, what would you say?
»
«That...
You are entitled to do it and that... I will imitate Abraham in his readiness to
the sacrifice.»
«You
are right. Listen, everybody: the time of My Sacrifice is approaching. Like a
course of water it is running fast and incessantly to the sea. I must accomplish
what I have to do. And human hardness precludes so much of the field of My
mission. My Mother and Mary of Alphaeus will come with Me when I go away amongst
people that do not love Me yet or will never love Me. My wisdom knows that women
will be able to help the Master in those precluded fields. I have come to redeem
also women and in the future century, in My time, women will be seen serving the
Lord and the servants of the Lord as priestesses. I have chosen My disciples.
But to elect women who are not free, I must ask fathers and husbands to do it.
Do you agree? »
«Lord,
I love Susanna. And so far I have loved her more as a body than as a soul. But
after Your teaching, something is already changed in me and I look at my wife as
a soul besides as a body. A soul belongs to God and You are the Messiah, the Son
of God. I cannot deny Your right on what belongs to God. If Susanna wants to
follow You, I will not oppose her. I only beg You to work the miracle that will
cure her body and my feelings...»
«Susanna
is cured. In a few hours' time she will come here to tell you how happy she is.
Let her soul follow its impulse without any mention of what I have just said.
You will see that her soul will come to Me spontaneously as a flame tends
upwards. But because of that, her love of a wife will not be stifled. On the
contrary it will rise to the highest degree, which is to love each other with
the better part: with your souls.»
«Susanna
belongs to You, Lord. She was to die a very painful slow death. And once she was
dead, I would have lost her for ever in this world. But as You say, I will still
have her beside me, to lead me on to Your way. God gave me her, and God is
taking her away from me. Blessed be the Most High in giving and in
taking.»
152. In Zebedee's House. Salome Is Accepted
as a Disciple.
2nd May
1945.
Jesus
is in a house, which, from what the people living in it say, I understand to be
the house of John and James. With Jesus, beside the two apostles, there are
Peter and Andrew, Simon Zealot, the Iscariot and Matthew. I do not see the
others.
James
and John are most happy. They come and go from their mother to Jesus and
viceversa, like butterflies which do not know which of two equally loved flowers
they should prefer. Mary Salome, who is also most happy, caresses each time her
big boys, while Jesus smiles.
They
must already have had their meal, because the table is still laid. But the two
disciples at all costs want Jesus to eat some bunches of white grapes, which
their mother has preserved and which must be as sweet as honey. What would they
not give Jesus?
But
Salome wants to give and receive something better than grapes and caresses. And
after being lost in thought for a little while, looking at Jesus, then at
Zebedee, she makes up her mind. She goes near Jesus Who is sitting with His back
to the table, and kneels down before Him.
«What
do you want, woman? »
«Master,
You have decided that Your Mother, and the mother of James and Judas should come
with You, and also Susanna is coming, and the great Johanna of Chuza will
certainly come as well. If only one woman comes, all the others who venerate
You, will come. I would like to be one of them. Take me, Jesus. I will serve You
with all my love. »
«You
have Zebedee to look after. Do you not love him any more?
»
«Oh!
Of course I love him. But I love You more. Oh! I do not mean that I love You as
a man. I am sixty years old, I have been married for almost forty, and I have
never seen any other man but my husband. I am not going to be crazy now that I
am old. Neither is my love for my Zebedee going to end because of my old age.
But You... I am not good at speaking. I am a poor woman. I will tell You as best
I can. Thus: I love Zebedee with my constant inborn femininity. I love You with
the spirit You have aroused in me with Your words and what James and John have
told me. It is something completely different... but so
beautiful.»
«It
will never be so beautiful as the love of a very good
husband.»
«Oh!
No. It is much more beautiful. Oh! Don't take it amiss, Zebedee! I still love
you with all my heart. But I love Him with something, which is still Mary, but
it is no longer Mary, your poor wife, it is something more... Oh! I do not know
how to tell you! »
Jesus
smiles at the woman who does not wish to offend her husband, but cannot conceal
her new great love. Also Zebedee smiles gravely, and goes near his wife, who,
still on her knees, turns round to look at her husband and at Jesus
alternately.
«Do
you realise, Mary, that you will have to leave your home? And you are so proud
of it! Your doves, your flowers... this vine that bears such sweet grapes of
which you are so proud... your beehives, which are the most famous ones in the
village... and you will no longer have your loom on which you have woven so much
linen and so much woollen cloth for your dear ones... And what about your little
nephews? What will you do without your little nephews? »
«Oh!
My Lord! What do all these things matter: walls, doves, flowers, vines,
beehives, looms, they are all good and dear things, but so insignificant as
compared to You and to loving You?! My little nephews... well! Yes! I will feel
sorry that I cannot put them to sleep on my lap or hear them call me... But You
are worth more! Oh! You are worth more than all the things You mentioned! And if
those things were taken all together and because of my weakness they were as
dear or dearer than serving and following You, I would cast them aside, with the
tears of a woman, to follow You with the smile of my soul. Take me, Master.
John, James, will you tell Him... and you too, my husband. Be good. Help me.
»
«All
right. You will come with the others. I wanted you to meditate carefully on the
past and the present, on what you leave and what you get. But come, Salome. You
are mature to enter My family. »
«Oh!
Mature! I am less than a child. But You will forgive my errors and hold me by
the hand. You... because, coarse as I am, I will be much ashamed before Your
Mother and before Johanna. I will be ashamed before everybody. Except You.
Because You are the Good One and You understand, pity and forgive
everything.»
153. Jesus Speaks to His Disciples of Women's
Apostolate.
3rd May
1945.
«What
is the matter with you, Peter? You look discontented » asks Jesus, Who is
walking along a country path under almond-trees in blossom, which announce to
men that the worst season is over.
«I
am thinking, Master.»
«You
are thinking. I know. But you do not seem to be thinking of happy things!
»
«As
You know everything about us, You already know my
thoughts.»
«Yes,
I do. Also God the Father knows the needs of men, but He wants in man the
intimacy that discloses his needs and asks for help. I can tell you that you are
wrong in being vexed.»
«So
my wife is not less dear to You? »
«Of
course not, Peter. Why should she? There are many dwelling places of My Father
in Heaven. And many are the tasks of men on the earth. And they are all blessed,
provided they are fulfilled in a holy manner. Could I possibly say that all the
women who do not imitate the Maries and Susanna are disliked by God?
»
«Certainly
not! Also my wife believes in the Master, but she does not follow the example of
the other women » says Bartholomew.
«Neither
does my wife nor my daughters. They are staying at home, but they are always
ready to give us hospitality, as they did yesterday » says
Philip.
«I
think my mother will do the same. She cannot leave everything... she is all by
herself » says the Iscariot.
«It
is true! I was sad because I thought mine was so... so little... oh! I cannot
explain! »
«Do
not criticise her, Peter! She is an honest woman » says
Jesus.
«She
is very shy. Her mother had them all under her thumb, both her daughter and her
daughters‑in‑law » says Andrew.
«But
she should have changed in all the years she has been with me!
»
«Oh!
Brother! You are not all that sweet‑tempered yourself, you know. If a person is
shy you are like a spoke in his wheel. My sister‑in‑law is very good and the
best proof is that she has always tolerated with patience her mother and her bad
temper, and you and your overbearance.»
They
all laugh at Andrew's outspoken conclusion and at Peter's astonished face when
he hears of his overbearance.
In
addition Jesus laughs heartily. He then says: «The faithful women who do not
feel like leaving their homes to follow Me are equally useful to Me by staying
at home. If they all wanted to come with Me, I would have to ask some of them to
remain. Now that some women are going to join us, I will also have to see to
them. It would be neither decent nor wise for the women to be without a dwelling
place while they move about. We can rest anywhere. A woman has different
necessities from men, and needs a shelter. We can all sleep in one place. But
they could not stay with us, both because of the respect due to them and because
of their more delicate constitution. We must never tempt Providence and nature
beyond their limits. Now, of every friendly house, where there is one of your
women, I will make a shelter for their sisters. I will do that with your house,
Peter, with yours, Philip, with yours, Bartholomew, and with yours, Judas. We
cannot expect our women to travel around incessantly, as we do. Instead we shall
have them waiting for us, at the meeting place, from which we shall move in the
morning and go back in the evening. We shall give them instructions for the
hours of rest and the world will no longer be able to grumble, if other unhappy
women come to Me, neither shall I be prevented from listening to them. The
mothers and wives that follow us will defend their sisters and Me against the
slander of the world. You can see that I am making a quick trip to greet My
friends or where I know that I will have friends. I am not doing that for
Myself. I am doing that for the weaker disciples who by means of their weakness
will support our strength and make it helpful to many more
creatures.»
«You
said that we are going to Caesarea now. Who is there? »
«Creatures
seeking the True God are to be found everywhere. Springtime is already announced
by the pinkish‑white almond blossoms. The cold days are over. In a few days'
time I will decide upon the places where we shall stop and shelter the women
disciples, and we shall start moving around again, to spread the word of God,
without worrying about our sisters, without any fear of slander and both their
patience and their kindness will be a lesson to you. The hour of rehabilitation
of women is almost here. There will be a great flowering of holy virgins, wives
and mothers in My Church. »
154. Jesus at Caesarea on Sea Speaks to the
Galley‑Slaves.
4th May
1945.
Jesus
is in the centre of a beautiful wide square, from which a very wide road leads
off, one which is almost an extension of the square as far as the seaside. A
galley must have left the harbour only recently and it is taking to the open sea
driven by the wind and by the oarsmen. Another one is manoeuvring to enter the
harbour, because its sails are being furled and the oars are worked on one side
only to veer round into a suitable position. The harbour cannot be seen from the
square, but it must be nearby. On the sides of the square there are rows of
large houses, the typical walls of which have almost no openings. There are no
shops.
«Where
are we going now? You wanted to come here, instead of going to the eastern side
and this is the heathen district. Who do You think will listen to You here? »
says Peter reproachfully.
«Let
us go over there, to that corner towards the seaside. I will speak
there.»
«You
will be speaking to the waves.»
«Also
the waves were created by God.»
They
go. They are now just at the corner and they can see the harbour into which the
galley they saw before is now slowly entering and is moored at its place. Some
sailors are idling along the quays. Some fruit‑sellers chance going towards the
Roman boat to sell their goods. Nothing else.
Jesus,
leaning with His back against the wall, really seems to be speaking to the waves
of the sea. The apostles, not very happy with the situation, are all around Him,
some standing, some sitting on stones scattered here and there, to be used as
benches.
«Foolish
is the man who, seeing that he is powerful, healthy and happy, says: "What do I
need? Whom do I need? Nobody. I need nothing, I am self‑sufficient; therefore
God's decrees and moral laws mean nothing to me. My only law is to do what I
can, without considering whether it is good or bad for other
people".»
A
vendor turns round on hearing the sonorous voice and comes near Jesus Who
continues: «That is how a man and a woman without wisdom and faith speak. But if
that proves a more or less great power, it also evidences a relationship with
Evil.»
Some
men come off the galley and other boats and come towards
Jesus.
«A
man, not by words of mouth, but by deeds proves that he is related to God and to
Virtue, when he considers that life is more changeable than the waves of the
sea, which one moment are calm and soon after stormy. Likewise the power and
wealth of today may turn into misery and incapacity tomorrow. Then what will a
man do if he is bereft of union with God? How many on the galley were one day
happy and mighty and are now slaves and considered criminals! Criminals:
therefore twice slaves, of the human law, which is derided in vain because it
exists and punishes its transgressors, and of Satan who for ever takes
possession of criminals, who do not repent and hate their
crimes.»
«Hail,
Master! You are here!? Do You know me? »
«May
God come to you, Publius Quintilianus. See? I have come.»
«And
You are here, in the Roman district. I was not hoping to see You again. But I am
very happy to hear You.»
«And
I am happy, too. Are there many men chained to the oars on that
galley?»
«Yes,
quite a large number. Mostly war prisoners. Are You interested in them?
»
«I
would like to approach that boat.»
«Come.
Get away from here » he orders the few people who had come near and who draw
back at once, mumbling rude remarks.
«You
may leave them. I am accustomed to being pressed by
crowds.»
«I
can take You so far, not any farther. It's a military
galley.»
«It
is enough. May God reward you.»
Jesus
resumes speaking while the Roman, in his splendid uniform, seems to be mounting
guard beside Him.
«Slaves
by misfortune, that is, slaves only once. Slaves for a lifetime. But every tear
that falls on their chains, every blow that strikes them writing pain on their
flesh, files their handcuffs, adorns what does not die, opens to them the peace
of God, Who is the friend of His poor unhappy children, and Who will give them
as much joy as the pain they suffered here.»
Some
men of the crew look out from the bulwarks of the galley and listen. None of the
galley slaves are there, of course. But Jesus' powerful voice certainly reaches
them through the rowlock sockets and it spreads through the quiet air at low
tide. Publius Quintilianus is called by a soldier and goes
away.
«I
want to tell these unhappy men who are loved by God, to be resigned to their
misfortune, and to turn their pains into flames that will soon unfasten the
chains of the galley and of their lives, ending in a desire for God. Having
endured the poor day, which is our life, a dark, stormy, fearful, painful day,
they thus enter the day of God, a bright, serene, fearless and joyful day. You
will enter the great peace, the infinite freedom of Paradise, o martyrs of a
painful destiny, provided you are good in your suffering and you aspire to
God.»
Publius
Quintilianus comes back with other soldiers and he is followed by a litter
carried by slaves, and the soldiers make room for it.
«Who
is God? I am speaking to Gentiles who do not know who God is. I am speaking to
the children of the peoples subdued who do not know who God is. In your forests,
o Gauls, Iberians, Thracians, Germans, Celts, you have a sham god. A soul is
naturally inclined to worship, because it remembers Heaven. But you cannot find
the True God, Who put a soul into your bodies, a soul equal to the soul we
people of Israel have, equal to the soul of the mighty Romans who have subdued
you, a soul that has the same duties and the same rights to Good and to which
the Good One, that is the true God will be faithful. Be equally faithful to
Good. The god or gods that you have worshipped so far, learning his or their
names on your mothers' knees; the god of whom you no longer think because you do not feel any comfort coming from him to relieve
your suffering, the god that perhaps you hate and curse in your daily despair,
is not the True God. The True God is Love and Piety. Were perhaps your gods like
that? No, they were not. They were also hard, cruel, false, hypocrites, vicious,
thieves. And now they have abandoned you, without the least comfort, which is
the hope of being loved and the assurance of a rest after so much suffering. It
is so because your gods do not exist. But God, the True God, Who is Love and
Piety, and Who I can assure you exists, is He Who made the sky, the seas, the
mountains, the forests, the plants, the flowers, the animals and man. He is the
One Who inspires conquerors to treat the poor people of the world with mercy and
love, as He is Mercy and Love.
O
mighty masters, consider that you all come from the same origin. Do not act
cruelly against those who by misfortune have come under your power, and be human
also to those whom a crime has tied to the bench of a galley. Man sins many
times. No man is without sins which are more or less secret. If you considered
that, you would be really good to your brothers, who, not so lucky as you are,
have been punished for crimes which you also have committed, without, however,
being punished for them.
Human
justice is such a doubtful thing in judging, that it would be dreadful if divine
justice were like it. There are guilty people who do not appear to be so,
whereas innocent people are considered guilty. Let us not ask why. It would be
too grave an accusation against unjust men who hate their fellow men! There are
people who are really guilty, but have been led to perpetrate a crime by
overbearing circumstances that somewhat extenuate their crime. Be therefore
human, you who are in charge of galleys. Above human justice there is a much
higher divine justice. The justice of the True God, Who created kings and
slaves, rocks and grains of sand. He watches you; both you on the oars and you
who are in charge of the crew; woe betide you if you are cruel without any
reason. I, Jesus Christ, the Messiah of the True God can assure you: at your
death He will tie you to an eternal galley, and will entrust the demons with a
blood‑stained lash and you will be tortured and struck exactly as you did.
Because, if according to human law a criminal is to be punished, you must not
overstep all limits. Remember that. A man who is powerful today may be miserable
tomorrow. God only is eternal.
I
would like to change your hearts, and above all I would like to untie your
fetters, give you back your freedom and send you back to your fatherlands. But,
My dear galley‑slaves, you are My brothers, you cannot see My face, but your
sorely wounded hearts are well known to Me; instead of the freedom and
fatherlands, which I cannot give you now, while you are the poor slaves of
mighty men, I will give you a greater freedom and Fatherland. For your sake I
have become a prisoner Myself, far from My fatherland, I will redeem you by
offering Myself in ransom, because you are not the disgrace of the world, as men
call you, but the shame of man, who forgets the limits of the rigours of war and
justice. I will make a new law for you on the earth and a pleasant abode for you
in Heaven. Remember My Name, o children of God, who are weeping. It is the name
of a Friend. Repeat it in your suffering. Be sure that, if you love Me, you will
have Me, even if we never see one another on the earth. I am Jesus Christ, the
Saviour, your Friend. I comfort you in the name of the True God. May peace come
to you soon.»
A
crowd of people, mainly Romans, have gathered round Jesus, Whose new ideas have
astonished everybody.
«By
Jove! You have made me ponder on new things, of which I had never thought
before. I feel they are true...» Publius Quintilianus looks at Jesus, pensive
and moved at the same time.
«It
is so, My friend. If man used his brains, he would never go so far as to commit
a crime.»
«By
Jove, by Jove! Wonderful words! I must remember them! You said: “If man used his
brains...”.»
«...
he would never go so far as to commit a crime.»
«It
is true. You are really a great man, You know? »
«Every
man who wanted, could be as great as I am, if he were all one with
God.»
The
Roman continues his sequence of «by
Joves » in increasing admiration.
Then
Jesus says to him: «Can I give some solace to those galley-slaves? I have some
money... some fruit, some comfort, that they may know that I love them.»
«Give
me it. I can do that. On the other hand there is a lady over there who can do
much. I will ask her.» Publius goes to the litter and speaks through the
curtains that have been slightly drawn. He comes back. «I am authorised to do
it. I will see to the distribution, so that the jailors may not take advantage
of it. And it will be the only time a soldier of the Empire deals mercifully
with war slaves.»
«The
first, but not the only time. The day will come when there will be no slaves,
and even before that My disciples will go among galley‑men and slaves and call
them brothers.»
A
further sequence of «by Joves » can be heard in the calm air while Publius is
waiting to have enough wine and fruit for the galley‑slaves. Before going on
board the galley he whispers near Jesus' ear: «Claudia Procula is in there. She
would like to hear You again. In the meantime she wants to ask You something. Go
and see her.»
Jesus
goes towards the litter.
«Hail,
Master.» The curtain is drawn a little, showing a beautiful woman about thirty
years old.
«May
the desire for wisdom come upon you.»
«You
said that a soul remembers Heaven. Therefore, that thing which You say we have
within us, is it eternal? »
«Yes,
it is eternal. That is why it remembers God. It remembers the God Who created
it.»
«What
is the soul? »
«The
soul is the true nobility of man. You are famous because you belong to the
Claudi family. A man is even more so because he belongs to God. In your veins
there is the blood of the Claudi, the mighty family, which, however, had a
beginning and will come to an end. In man, because of his soul, there is the
blood of God. Because a soul is the spiritual blood ‑ as God is a Most Pure
Spirit ‑ of the Creator of man: of the Eternal, Almighty, Holy God. Because of
the soul, which is in him and which is alive as long as it is united to God, man
is eternal, powerful and holy.»
«I
am a pagan. So I have no soul...»
«You
do have it. But it has fallen into a state of lethargy. Wake it up to the Truth
and to Life...»
«Goodbye,
Master.»
«May
Justice conquer you. Goodbye.»
«As
you have seen, here also I had people listening to Me » says Jesus to the
disciples.
«Yes,
but with the exception of the Romans, who will have understood You? They are barbarians!
»
«Who?
All of them. Peace is with them and they will remember Me more than many others
in Israel. Let us go to the house where they are offering us hospitality for our
meal.»
«Master,
that woman is the same one who spoke to me on the day that You cured the sick
man. I saw her and I recognised her » says John.
«You
can see, therefore, that even here there was someone waiting for us. But you do
not seem to be very happy about it. I will have accomplished a great deal when I
succeed in persuading you that I have come not only for the Jews, but for all
the peoples, and I have prepared you for them all. And I tell you: remember
everything of your Master. There is no event, however trifling it may seem, that
may not be a lesson for you one day during your
apostolate.»
No
one replies and a sad smile of pity appears on Jesus'
lips.
This
morning He had such a smile also for me...
I
was in a state of such deep depression that I began to weep over so many things,
the tiredness of writing and writing with the firm belief that so much bounty of
God and work of little John are utterly useless, not being the least. And
weeping I invoked my Master, and when out of kindness He came exclusively for
me, I told Him what worried me.
He
shrugged His shoulders as if He wished to say: «Forget about the world and its
nonsense », and then He caressed me saying: «So what? Would you not like to help
Me any more? Does the world not want to know My words? Well, let us repeat them
to each other, for My joy in mentioning them to a faithful heart, for yours in
hearing them. The weariness of the apostolate!... More depressing than any other
work! It deprives the serenest day of its light and the sweetest food of its
sweetness. Everything becomes ashes and dirt, nausea and bitterness. But, My
dear soul, these are the hours in which we take upon ourselves the weariness,
the doubts, the misery of the worldly people who die because they do not possess
what we have. And they are the hours in which we do more. I told you also last
year. "To what advantage?" wonders the soul submerged by what submerges the
world, that is, by the waves sent by Satan. And the world drowns. But the soul
nailed to the cross with its God does not drown. It is in darkness for a moment
and sinks under the nauseating wave of spiritual tiredness, then it emerges
fresher and more beautiful. Your expression: "I am no longer good for anything"
is the consequence of such tiredness. You would never be good for anything. But
I am always I, and thus you will always be good for your task of mouthpiece. Of
course, if I saw that My gift were hidden avariciously like a heavy most
valuable gem, or it were used imprudently, or out of indolence it were not
protected by means of the safety precautions commanded by human wickedness in
such cases, to guard the gift and the person through whom the gift is granted, I
would say: "Enough of that". And this time without any possible recurrence.
Enough for everybody, with the exception of My little soul, which today looks
just a little flower in a downpour. And with such caresses can you doubt My love
for you! Cheer up! You helped Me in wartime. Help Me again, now... There is so
much to be done.»
And
I calmed down under the caress of the long hand and of the very kind smile of My
Jesus, so candid as when He is all for me.
155. Cure of the Little Roman Girl at
Caesarea.
5th May
1945.
Jesus
says:
«Little
John, come with Me, as I have to make you write a lesson for the consecrated
people of the present time. Watch and write.»
Jesus
is still at Caesarea on Sea. He is no longer in the same square as yesterday,
but further inland, from where the harbour and ships can still be seen. There
are many warehouses and shops and as on the ground, in this open space, there
are mats with various kinds of goods, I realise that it is near the market
place, which was perhaps located near the harbour and warehouses, for the
convenience of seamen and of the people buying goods brought by sea. There is a
lot of shouting and bustling among the people. Jesus with Simon and His cousins,
is waiting for the others who are buying the food that is needed. Some children
look curiously at Jesus, Who caresses them lovingly while speaking to His
apostles. Jesus says: «I am sorry to see dissatisfaction because I approach the
Gentiles. But I can but do what I must do and be good to everybody. At least you
three and John must endeavour to be good; the others will follow you and imitate
you.»
«How
can one be good to everybody? After all they despise and oppress us, they do not
understand us, they are full of vices...» says James of Alphaeus
apologetically.
«How
can one do that? Are you happy that you were born of Alphaeus and Mary?
»
«Of
course I am. Why do You ask me? »
«And
if God had asked you before you were conceived, would you have chosen to be born
of them? »
«Certainly.
But I do not understand.»
«If
instead, you were born of a Gentile, and you heard someone accuse you of wanting
to be born of a heathen father, what would you have said?
»
«I
would have said... I would have said: "It is no fault of mine. I was born of
him, but I might have been born of someone else". I would have said: "You are
unfair in accusing me. If I do no harm, why do you hate
me?".»
«Exactly,
also these people, whom you despise because they are pagans, can say the same.
It is no merit of yours, if you were born of Alphaeus, a true Israelite. You can
only thank the Eternal Father, Who granted you a great gift, and out of
gratitude and humility you can endeavour to take to the True God those who did
not receive such a gift. One must be good.»
«It
is difficult to love those whom we do not know.»
«No.
It is not. Look. You, little fellow, come here.»
A
little boy, about eight years old, who is playing in a corner with two other
little lads, comes near Jesus. He is a strong boy, with very dark hair and a
fair complexion.
«Who
are you? »
«I
am Lucius, Caius Lucius, of Caius Marius, a Roman, the son of the Decurion of
the guards, who remained here after he was wounded.»
«And
who are those? »
«They
are Isaac and Toby. But we must not say, because they are not allowed to play
with us. The Jews would hit them.»
«Why?
»
«Because
they are Jews and I am a Roman. They are forbidden to associate with
us.»
«But
you are playing with them. Why? »
«Because
we are fond of one another. We always play together dice or jumping. But we have
to hide.»
«And
would you love Me? I am a Jew, too, and I am not a boy. Just imagine: I am a
Master, something like a priest.»
«What
do I care? If You love me, I will love You. And I love You because You love
me.»
«How
do you know? »
«Because
You are good. Who is good, loves.»
«There
you are, My friends. That is the secret to love: to be good. Then you love
without considering to which faith other people belong.»
And
Jesus, holding little Caius Lucius by the hand, goes and caresses the little
Jewish children, who are frightened and hide in a passage way and He says to
them: «Good children are angels. Angels have one fatherland only: Paradise. They
have only one religion: the religion of the One God. They have only one Temple:
the Heart of God. Like little angels, always love one
another.»
«But
if they see us they will hit us...»
Jesus
shakes His head sadly but does not reply...
A
tall shapely woman calls Lucius, who leaves Jesus saying: «My mother! » and
shouts to the woman: «I have a big friend. He is a
Master!...»
The
woman does not go away with her son, on the contrary, she comes near Jesus and
asks Him: «Hail. Are You the Galilean who spoke at the harbour yesterday?
»
«Yes,
I am..»
«Wait
for me, then. I'll be back in a moment » and she goes away with her little
son.
In
the meantime the other apostles have also arrived, with the exception of Matthew
and John, and they ask: «Who was she? »
«A
Roman, I think » reply Peter and the others.
«What
did she want? »
«She
told us to wait here. We shall soon find out.»
Some
people have come near them in the meantime and are waiting
curiously.
The
woman comes back with other Romans. «So You are the Master? » asks one who looks
like a servant of a rich family. After receiving an answer in the affirmative,
he asks: «Would it upset You if You had to cure the little daughter of one of
Claudia's friends? The child is choking to death and the doctor does not know
the cause of it. She was all right last night. This morning she is in
agony.»
«Let
us go.»
They
take a few steps along a street towards the place where they were yesterday and
they arrive at a wide open main entrance of a house where Romans appear to be
living.
«Just
a moment.» The man rushes in and
almost immediately looks out again and says: «Come in.»
But
before Jesus can go in, a young ladylike woman comes out. Her extremely pitiful
state is very obvious. She is holding in her arms a little child, only a few
months old, completely inert, livid with suffocation. I would say that she is
suffering from a lethal diphtheritis and is about to breathe her last. The woman
clings to Jesus' chest like a shipwrecked person to a rock. Her tears prevent
her from speaking.
Jesus
takes the baby, whose very pale tiny hands with nails already blue are shaken by
fits, and lifts her up. Her little head hangs down motionless. The mother, no
longer a proud Roman in front of a Jew, has fallen at Jesus' feet, in the dust,
sobbing, her face raised, her hair dishevelled, pulling at Jesus' tunic and
mantle with her outstretched arms. Behind and round her there are Romans of the
household and Jewish women of the town, looking at her.
Jesus
wets His right hand forefinger with saliva, puts it into the little panting
mouth, pressing it down the throat.
The
child writhes and becomes darker in the face. The mother cries: «Don't! Don't! »
and she writhes as if she were pierced by a blade. The people are holding their
breath.
Jesus
pulls His finger out with a mass of putrid membranes. The child writhes no
longer, cries for a few seconds, then calms down and smiles innocently, shaking
her hands and moving her lips like a little bird, that chirps flapping its
little wings while waiting to be fed.
«Take
her, woman. Feed her. She is cured.»
The
mother is so bewildered that she takes the child and still kneeling in the dust
she kisses and caresses her and breast‑feeds her. She seems to be out of her
wits, as if she had forgotten everything except her child.
A
Roman asks Jesus: «How did You do that? I am the Proconsul's doctor and I am
clever. I tried to remove the obstruction, but it was too far down!... But
You... so...»
«You
are clever. But the True God is not with you. May He be blessed. Goodbye.» And
Jesus is about to go away.
But
a small group of Israelites feel they should interfere. «Why did You take the
liberty of approaching foreigners? They are corrupted and unclean, and whoever
approaches them, becomes such.»
They
are three and Jesus stares at them severely and then says: «Are you not Haggai,
the man from Azotus, who came here last Tishri to negotiate business with the
merchant at the foundation of the old fountain? And are you not Joseph of Ramah,
who came here to consult the Roman doctor, and you know, as well as I do, why?
So? Do you not feel unclean? »
«A
doctor is never a stranger. He cures bodies and all bodies are
alike.»
«And
souls are even more so. After all, what did I cure? The innocent body of a child
and by doing so I hope to cure the souls of strangers, which are not innocent.
Therefore both as a doctor and as the Messiah I can approach
anybody.»
«No,
You cannot. »
«No,
Haggai? And why do you deal with the Roman merchant? »
«I
only approach him through goods and money.»
«And
as you do not touch his body, but only what was touched by his hands, you do not
think that you are contaminated. Oh! How blind and cruel you all
are!
Listen,
everybody. In the very book of the Prophet, whose name this man bears, it is
written: "Ask the priests this question on the Law: 'If a man carries
consecrated meat in the fold of his gown and with this fold touches bread,
broth, wine or food of any kind, does such food become holy?'. The priests
answered: 'No, it does not'. Haggai then said: 'If a man made unclean by contact
with a corpse touches any of this, does it become unclean?'. The priests
answered: 'Yes, it does'."
By
means of such shifty, false, inconsistent behaviour, you bar and condemn Good
and accept only what is profitable to you. Then there is no more indignation, no
disgust, no horror. Provided no personal detriment is caused to you, you decide
whether a thing is clean or unclean, whether it makes one clean or not. And how
can you, liars as you are, state that what has been sanctified by contact with
holy flesh or some holy thing, does not make holy what it touches; and what has
touched an unclean thing can make unclean what it touches?
Do
you not realise that you are belying yourselves, false ministers of a Law of
Truth, exploiters of that very same Law, which you twist as if it were a hempen
rope, when you are anxious to profit by it, you hypocritical Pharisees? Under
religious pretexts you give vent to your human envious malice, entirely human,
you desecrators of what belongs to God, revilers and enemies of the Messenger of
God. I solemnly tell you that every action, every conclusion, every movement of
yours is motivated by a complex shrewd mechanism, where the wheels, springs,
weights and rods are your selfishness, your passions, your insincerity, your
hatred, your anxiety to overwhelm people, your envy.
Shame!
Greedy, trembling, spiteful, you live in the supercilious fear of being overcome
by someone who may not belong to your own caste. You thus deserve to be like the
one who frightens and irritates you! As Haggai says, of a heap of twenty
measures you make one of ten, and of fifty barrels you make twenty, and you
pocket all the difference, whereas to set an example to men and for the love to
be given to God, you should add something of your own to the heap of the
measures and to the number of the barrels, for the benefit of those who are
hungry, instead of taking it away. You thus deserve to be made barren by a
burning wind and by rust and hail stones, in all the deeds of your
hands.
Who
are those amongst you who come to Me? Those whom you consider dung and filth,
who are so ignorant that they do not even know that there is a true God, they
come to the One Who brings them that God, Who is present in His deeds and in His
words. You, instead, have built a niche for yourselves and you stay in there, as
arid and cold as idols awaiting incense and worship. And since you consider
yourselves gods, you deem it useless to think of the True God, as one should
think of Him, and you consider dangerous that other people, who are not like
you, should dare what you do not dare. In fact you cannot dare, because you are
idols and servants of the Idol. But he who dares, can do it, because not he, but
God works in Him.
Go!
Tell those who sent you to spy on Me, that I disdain merchants who do not feel
contaminated if they sell goods or their fatherland or the Temple to those from
whom they receive money. Tell them that I feel disgusted at the brutes, who
worship only their own flesh and blood, for the recovery of which they do not
consider the contact with a foreign doctor to be contaminating. Tell them that
the measure is the same for everybody and that there are not two measures. Tell
them that I, the Messiah, the Just Admirable Counsellor, upon Whom the Spirit of
the Lord shall rest with His seven gifts, Who will not judge by what appears to
the eyes, but by the secrets of hearts, Who will not condemn according to what
His ears hear, but by the spiritual voices He will hear in every man, Who will
side with the humble and judge the poor with righteousness, the One Who I am,
because that is Who I am, is already judging and smiting those who on the earth
are nothing but earth. And the breath of My lip will slay the wicked and destroy
their dens, but will be Life and Light, Freedom and Peace for those who desirous
of justice and faith will come to My Holy Mountain to be sated with the Science
of the Lord. That is Isaiah, is it not?
My
people. Everything comes from Adam and Adam comes from My Father. Everything is
therefore the work of the Father and it is My duty to gather all men together
for the Father. And I bring them to You, o Holy, Eternal, Almighty Father. I
shall lead the stray children back to You, after gathering them together by
means of loving words, under My pastoral rod, which is like the one Moses raised
against the deadly snakes. That You may have Your Kingdom and Your people. And I
make no difference because in the depths of all men I see something that shines
brighter than fire: a soul, a spark of Your Eternal Brightness. O My eternal
desire! O My untiring will!
This
is what I want and what I crave for. That the whole earth may sing Your Name.
That mankind may call You Father. A Redemption that will save everybody. A
fortified will that will make every man obedient to Your will. An eternal
triumph that will fill Paradise with an everlasting hosanna... Oh! Multitude of
Heavens! Behold, I see the smile of God... and that is the reward compensating
all human harshness.»
The
three men have fled in the hail of reproaches. All the others, both Romans and
Jews, are gaping. The Roman woman, with her child, who has sucked her fill and
is sleeping peacefully in her lap, is still where she was, almost at Jesus'
feet, weeping, overwhelmed by maternal joy and spiritual emotion. Many are moved
to tears by the last words of Jesus Who seems to be flashing with glory in His
ecstasy.
And
Jesus, lowering His eyes and returning with His spirit from Heaven back to the
earth, sees the crowd and the mother... and passing by, after waving goodbye to
everybody, He caresses her lightly, blessing her for her faith. And He walks
away with His disciples, while the crowds, still amazed, remain where they
were...
(The
young Roman woman, unless it is a casual resemblance, is one of the Roman women
who were with Johanna of Chuza on the way to Calvary. As no one here called her
by her name, I am not sure.)
156. Annaleah Devotes Herself to God as a
Virgin.
6th May
1945.
Jesus
with Peter, Andrew and John, knocks at the door of His house in Nazareth. The
door is opened at once by His Mother, Whose face brightens with a beautiful
smile on seeing Jesus.
«Welcome
home, My Son! Since yesterday I have had with Me a pure dove waiting for You.
She came from far away. The person who brought her here could not stay longer.
As she asked for My advice, I told her what I could. But only You, My Son, are
the Wisdom. You are welcome, too » She says to the disciples. «Come in and
refresh yourselves.»
«Yes,
stay here. I am going at once to see the girl who is waiting for
Me.»
The
three disciples are very curious, but show their curiosity in different ways.
Peter stares intently in all directions, almost hoping to see through the walls.
John looks as if he wanted to read on Mary's face the name of the unknown girl.
Andrew, who on the other hand has blushed, stares intently at Jesus and both his
eyes and his lips seem to be trembling with a silent
entreaty.
Jesus
pays no attention to any of them. While the three make up their minds and go
into the kitchen, where Mary offers them some food in the warmth of the
fireplace, Jesus draws the curtain that conceals the door opening on to the
kitchen garden and goes out into it.
The
mild sunshine makes more airy and dream‑like all the blooming branches of the
tall almond‑tree. The only tree in blossom, the tallest in the kitchen garden,
looks splendid in its silk white‑pink dress, compared with the poverty of all
the others: the pear‑tree, the apple‑tree, the fig‑tree, the pomegranate, the
vines which are still all barren, stately in its soft bright veil, which
contrasts with the drab humility of the olive trees: it seems to have caught
with its long branches a wispy cloud, lost in the blue field of the sky, and to
have adorned itself with it to say to everybody: «The wedding of springtime is
coming. Rejoice, plants and animals. It is the time for kisses with the winds,
the bees, the flowers. It is the time for kisses under the tiles, or in the
thick of woods, o little birds of God and snow‑white sheep. Kisses today,
offspring tomorrow, to perpetuate the work of our Creator
God.»
Jesus
with His arms folded on His chest, standing in the sun, smiles at the serene
gracefulness of His Mother's kitchen garden, with its bed of lilies recognizable
from their first leaves, its still bare rose‑bushes and silvery olive leaves,
and many other families of flowers spread among the humble beds of legumes and
vegetables, which are just becoming green. Clean, tidy and unassuming, it also
seems to exhale the purity of perfect virginity.
«Son,
come to My room. I will bring her to You, because she ran there when she heard
so many voices.»
Jesus
enters His Mother's room, the chaste, the most chaste little room, which heard
the words of the angelical conversation and which exhales, even more than the
kitchen garden, the virginal, angelical, holy essence of Her Who has lived in it
for years and of the Archangel who venerated his Queen in it. Have thirty years
gone by or did the meeting take place only yesterday? Also today a distaff holds
its soft and almost silvery tuft of wool and the thread is on the spindle,
folded embroidery is on the shelf near the door, between a parchment roll and a
copper amphora in which there is a thick almond branch in bloom; also today the
striped curtain, lowered on the mystery of the virginal dwelling, is moved by a
gentle breeze, and the bed, neat in its comer, still has the genteel look of the
bed of a girl who has just reached the threshold of youth. What will one dream
or has dreamt of on the low pillow?...
The
curtain is softly raised by Mary's hand; Jesus, Who was contemplating that abode
of purity, standing with His back to the door, turns
round.
«Here,
My Son. I have brought her to You. She is a little lamb. You are her Shepherd »
and Mary, Who has come in holding by the hand a slender brunette young girl, who
blushes vehemently when she appears in Jesus' presence, quietly withdraws
letting the curtain down.
«Peace
to you, child. »
«Peace...
Lord...» The girl, deeply moved, is speechless, but she kneels down and bows her
head.
«Stand
up. What do you want from Me? Do not be afraid...»
«I
am not afraid... but... now that I am in front of You... after longing so
much... what seemed easy and necessary to tell You... I cannot remember... it
does not seem what it was... I am silly... forgive me, my
Lord...»
«Do
you want a grace for this world? Do you need a miracle? Have you souls to
convert? No? What, then? Speak up! You had so much courage and now are losing
heart? Do you not know that I am the One Who increases strength? Yes? You do?
Well, then, speak as if I were a father for you. You are young. How old are you?
»
«Sixteen
years, my Lord.»
«Where
have you come from? »
«From
Jerusalem.»
«What
is your name? »
«Annaleah
... »
«The
dear name of My grandmother and of many more holy women of Israel, and joined to
it, to make one only, the name of the good, faithful, loving, meek wife of
Jacob. It will be a good omen to you. You will be a model wife and mother. No?
You are shaking your head? You are weeping? Have you been rejected? No? Your
fiancé perhaps died? Has no one proposed to you yet? »
The
girl always shakes her head. Jesus takes a step forward, caresses her and forces
her to raise her head and look at Him... Jesus' smile overcomes the girl's
excitement. She takes heart: «My Lord, I could be a wife and a happy one, thanks
to You. Do You not recognise me, my Lord? I am the girl who suffered from
tuberculosis, the dying fiancée, whom You cured at Your John's request... After
Your grace I... I have had another body: this healthy one in the place of the
dying one I had before; and I have had another soul... I do not know. I did not
feel the same... The joy of being cured, and consequently the certainty I could
get married - my regret in dying was that I could not get married ‑ they only
lasted for a few hours. And then...» The girl becomes franker and franker, she
finds the words and the ideas that she had lost in the excitement of being alone
with the Master... «...And then I felt that I should not be only selfish, and
say only: "Now I will be happy", but that I should think of something else,
something that came to You and to God, Your Father and mine. Something that,
although small, should express my gratitude. I gave the matter a lot of thought
and when the following Sabbath I saw my francé I said to him: "Listen, Samuel.
Without the miracle I would have died in a few months' time and you would have
lost me for ever. Now I would like to offer a sacrifice to God, with you, to say
to God that I praise Him and thank Him". And Samuel, because he loves me, said
at once: "Let us go to the Temple together and offer a sacrifice". But that was
not what I wanted. I am a poor and common girl, my Lord. I know very little and
I can do much less. But through Your hand, which You laid on my diseased breast,
something had come not only into my corroded lungs, but also into my heart. It
was health to my lungs, and wisdom to my heart. And I realised that the
sacrifice of a lamb was not the sacrifice wanted by my soul that... that loved
You.» The girl becomes silent, blushing after her profession of
love.
«Go
on without any fear. What did your soul want? »
«To
sacrifice something worthy of You, the Son of God! And so... so I thought it
should be something spiritual like what comes from God, that is, the sacrifice
of postponing my wedding, for Your sake, my Saviour. A wedding, You know, is a
great joy. When one is in love it is a great thing! One longs to... is anxious
to celebrate it!... But I was no longer the same person as a few days
previously. I no longer wanted my wedding as the dearest thing... I told
Samuel... and he understood me. He also wanted to be a nazirite for one year,
starting on the day which was to be the day of our wedding, that is the day
after the calends of Adar. In the meantime he has been looking for You, because
he wanted to love and know Him Who had given him back his fiancée: You. And he
found You, after many months, at the Clear Water. I came too... and Your word
completed the change of my heart. Now my previous vow is no longer sufficient
for me... Like that almond‑tree out there, which in the warmer and warmer
sunshine has revived after being dead for months and has blossomed and will leaf
and then bear fruit, so I have continuously grown in the knowledge of what is
better. The last time, when I was already sure of myself and of what I wanted ‑
I have pondered on the matter all these past months ‑ the last time I went to
the Clear Water, You were no longer there... They had driven You away. I wept
and prayed so much that the Most High heard me and persuaded my mother to send
me here with a relative who was going to Tiberias to speak to the courtiers of
the Tetrarch. The steward told me that I would find You here. I found Your
Mother... and Her words, only listening to Her and being beside Her these two
days, have completely matured the fruit of Your grace.» The girl has knelt down
as if she were in front of an altar, her arms folded on her
breast.
«All
right. But what do you want exactly? What can I do for you?
»
«Lord,
I would like... I would like a great thing. And only You, the Donor of life and
health, can give it to me, because I think that what You can give, You can also
take away... I would like You to take the life You gave me, during the year of
my vow, before it ends...»
«Why?
Are you not grateful to God for the life you received? »
«So
grateful! Infinitely! But for one thing only: because by living by His grace and
by Your miracle I have understood what is best.»
«Which
is? »
«Which
is to live like angels. As Your Mother, my Lord... as You live... as Your John
lives... The three lilies, the three white flames, the three beatitudes of the
earth, my Lord. Yes. Because I think that it is a beatitude to possess God and
God is possessed by the pure. I believe that who is pure is a Heaven with God in
its centre and the angels around... Oh! My Lord! That is what I would like...
Little have I heard of what You, Your Mother, the disciple and Isaac have said.
Neither have I approached anyone else who could tell me Your words. But I feel
as if my soul heard You all the time and You were its Master... I have told You
everything, my Lord...»
«Annaleah,
you are asking for very much and are giving very much... Daughter: you have
understood God and the perfection to which a creature may rise to be like the
Most Pure and to please the Most Pure.»
Jesus
has laid His hands on the sides of the head of the dark-haired girl, who is
kneeling in front of Him and speaks bending over her: «He Who was born of a
Virgin ‑ because He could but build His nest on a pile of lilies ‑ is nauseated,
My dear daughter, by the triple lechery of the world and He would be crushed by
so much nausea if His Father, Who knows on what His Son lives, did not intervene
with loving help to support My soul in anguish. The pure are My joy. You are
giving Me what the world takes from Me through its unexhausted baseness. May the
Father and you, dear girl, be blessed for that. Go happily. Something will
intervene to make your vow an eternal one. Be one of the lilies scattered on the
blood‑stained ways of Christ.»
«Oh!
my Lord... there is still one thing I would like...»